I’m surprised Eagle doesn’t try to convince me to dip my toe into the dating pond. Men in love are the worst kind of blind, believing romance fixes everything.
“I’m too old to change,” I grumble as my thoughts return to Xenia and her tiny house.
Eagle glances down at his daughter with her thick brown hair and probably realizes how much he’s changed over the last year.
“If the woman’s worth it, you’ll change. If she isn’t, you won’t. It’s that simple. If you feel suffocated, you know you’re not right with her.”
“Is that how it is with Irina?”
“Sure. Women could suffocate me by talking for a few minutes too long. With Irina, I want her around all the time. Everything is easier with her. If I’d forced it with someone else, I’d be miserable and end shit. Hell, I wouldn’t have even started it. I don’t think I can force myself to be miserable.”
“I don’t want a woman.”
“But there’s no harm in looking at one.”
Scratching at my jaw, I mumble, “No, I suppose not.”
As Eagle and I fall silent, I figure I ought to let him go eat. When I don’t say anything, he gets to fiddling with his baby girl’s hat. Before I can spell out how he can go inside to his woman, Eagle’s dark eyes find me.
“You still seem unsettled.”
“I’m not.” Eagle stares at me until I shrug. “I admit I’m curious about Xenia. Wish there was a way to know her without giving her any wrong ideas about my interest.”
“No offense, but you scare most chicks. I bet she won’t get any ideas unless you unleash a charm offensive.”
I recall how Xenia blushed when I called her pretty. Didn’t take much to get her riled up.
On the other hand, she went on that date. Probably with a real stiff. If that’s her type, she won’t get wound up over me.
“Might be difficult, but I bet I can reel in my charm around her.”
Eagle offers me a little grin. “What’s so interesting about this woman?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m curious.”
Eagle stares at me like he’s thinking about a bunch of shit that he doesn’t plan to share.
“You always told me to stop complicating things,” he finally says. “I’m suggesting you do that now. I mean you talk to plenty of people who don’t fall in love with you.”
Chuckling at his words, I shrug. “That’s true. I just feel responsible for this lady.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you probably do. There are other lonely chicks in McMurdo Valley.”
“Maybe she’s just new.”
“Irina was new.”
Frowning, I realize he’s trapped me in a corner.
“Your woman is beautiful,” I explain. “That little Fiona Rogers is pretty, too. Lots of women are. I don’t know why Xenia matters. Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis.”
“Doubtful. You seem the same as always,” Eagle says and then looks down at his daughter looking up at him. A thought clouds his expression, and I feel him editing himself again. When he looks back at me, Eagle shrugs. “I think maybe you’re just bored. Nothing wrong with entertaining yourself with this chick. She’s lonely, and you’re a good friend to have.”
I narrow my eyes and ask, “Are you just humoring me?”