“Maybe I’ll spray that on his car next.”
“Would have matched the dick on the bonnet pretty well.”
He smirked. “Yeah.” He rubbed his eyes and took a breath. “Seriously, Rosie, I’m alright now. Just go. I’m heading over to Mum’s soon. She’s cooking dinner.”
“Is she doing her onion mashed potato special?”
“Sure is.”
“Best get to it, then.”
I knew his mum would be waiting with open arms.
I hugged him before I went, wishing I was heading over to my mum’s for dinner.
Again, maybe one day.
I almost cried when I walked past the front door, holding back the tears as I took the banister rail for the next floor, but I couldn’t do it. I had to try. I took a breath and walked back there. Pausing outside, daring to hope.Please. I was holding my breath as I waited, pulse thumping as I knocked.Please.I hoped there wouldn’t be screaming, or crying, just a chance to talk. Just one little chance.
Please.
I knocked again, listened out for her, pressing my ear to the door.
Please.
I didn’t know what I’d say, just something. Anything.
Please.
But she didn’t answer.
I knocked louder. “Mum? It’s me.”
I knew she wasn’t at work. It wasn’t her shift time yet.
“Mum! It’s me!”
Still no answer.
I put my ear back to the door and there was silence. No sound of the TV, or her talking, or anything. Just quiet. So maybe she wasn’t in. I called up a message on my phone, and saw she was online. I dared to type.
I saw Jayden. He said about Tom. I’m really happy for you. I’d love to meet him one day.
I hoped for the typing icon, but nothing. She went offline.
Fuck it.
I paused at the top of the stairs before I went back home to Julian. I didn’t want him to see me crying all over again, but it didn’t make any difference. He still saw the tear marks when I stepped inside.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
His arms were so warm.
“Mum’s got someone. A guy called Tom. He’s nice.”
“That’s good. I’m very glad for her.”
“Me too. I just wish she’d told me herself.”