Page 61 of Ends of Being

I interrupt, “Well, we don’t have time to find out now. Let’s go.”

We grab what equipment we’re going to need—so basically weapons—and head out. The warehouse where she is being held isn’t too far from us, so I instruct Matt to drive over with the SUV while Dare and I go over on foot.

We double time in that direction, and I have to keep bitching at Dare not to overdo it since we don’t know what we’re walking into. The warehouse comes into sight, and I slow up, taking my phone out to make sure her location hasn’t moved. The green dot is still blinking right in front of us, so I hand Dare a COM, and we split up.

We’ll both circle the building in different directions and enter in through the first door we see. I have it set up so we can see ourselves on the same screen where Toni’s location is being shown, so at least we’re not entirely blind to each other’s locations.

I circle around the back, and the first door I try is locked, so I move down a ways until I see another one, which, thankfully, is open. It’s eerily dark in the building, and I wait a moment to let my eyes adjust and then move further inward. I hurry cautiously, so probably not as cautiously as I should, considering I have no information on who or what is happening here.

This first floor appears to be some kind of chop shop, which is pretty standard for the area. I circle back around in search of a staircase, and that’s where I see Dare heading in the same direction.

Matt’s voice comes over the COM, yelling he sees movement on the roof, and we immediately throw caution to the wind and run up the stairs at a sprint. We burst through the open doors onto the roof and then stop, glancing around.

Out through the rainy darkness, I can make out a group of people standing facing the ledge. Lightning flashes in the sky, and Dare’s curse breaks through the silence as we see Toni standing on the ledge, soaking wet and visibly beaten up, with some asshole creeping out toward her.

Dare and I both take out our knives, not even needing to communicate or plan as we quietly approach the unsuspecting group and each take out two people without anyone noticing.

Lightning ominously flashes again, and Toni’s screaming laughter mixes with the thunder claps around me, sending a shiver down my spine. She’s laughing and screaming and completely losing her shit over there, and I can sense this is headed nowhere good, fast.

Then Dare is running, shouting for her to stop, to wait, but it’s no use. He’s barreling through men, stabbing them with one hand, shooting and punching anyone standing in his way, but it’s too late.

We watch helplessly as she grabs that asshole in a tight hold, just two dark shadows in the dark landscape, and in the blink of an eye, they both disappear over the ledge.

I stand there, frozen for a moment, but then a slice of pain in my arm wakes me up to realize that the fight isn’t over. I quickly and efficiently engage and eliminate the rest of the men on the rooftop to the looped soundtrack of Dare screaming in the background.

I run over to him, where he’s leaned over the edge, blindly reaching into the darkness. I hear Matt occasionally over the COM, and it sounds like he’s also engaging somewhere in the building.

I pull on Dare and attempt to get him away from the ledge, but he is like stone, cold and immovable. I get on the COM and tell Matt to go down to the backside of the building and assess the situation, and then I bodily tear Dare from the ledge, knocking him back every time he attempts to return.

Never, in all the years that I have known Darius, have I ever seen him so detached, so utterly destroyed that he loses sight of the mission. I grasp his head in both my hands, bring my face directly in front of his and shout, “Wake up!” Then I head-butt him directly in the face.

He barely flinches, but he blinks, shakes his head as if in slow motion, and reaches a hand up to touch his busted nose. But then, his eyes meet mine, and the absolute rage burning in those depths raises the hair on the back of my neck.

I figured this version of Dare was a distinct possibility once I fully grasped his deep affection for this woman. That if things went wrong, if we weren’t able to bring her in alive, it would not just mean the end for her; it would also be the end for all of us.

I can see it in his eyes now. That pitch-black fire, the thirst for blood written all over his features.

And I know one way or another, the city will burn.

But I also know that all three of us will burn with it.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Toni

It’sdifficulttoputinto words what it’s like to lose a memory. To feel it poking in the recesses of your mind, that constant little pin-prick of pain and disappointment that you can’t control or even explain. To be aware that something is missing, regardless if it hurts, regardless if it is dark and empty, it’s still part of who you are.

Then on the other side of that is the knowledge that maybe you were happier without it. You may feel a sense of homecoming knowing the full landscape of your being, but it’s possible that the end was a more comfortable landscape for you. But now you’re stuck with this sticky black mass of anger, pain, shame, and regret that you’re supposed to stuff back into that empty space; except now, it doesn’t fit. It will never fit. It will constantly attempt to crawl out, leak out, and seep out into the better parts of you. And then what do you do?

Tony told me his side of the story, matter-of-fact and detailed, and I’m grateful for it. There are still so many blank spaces that need to be filled in, but I lack the emotional bandwidth to get into those tiny details at this point. I remember what happened in that warehouse with those men. Certain parts of it pass through my brain like flashcards; some other ones are more like the lava lamps from my childhood—like little flashes of color dancing in my psyche.

But I remember the blood. I remember the blood, and I remember the deep, maniacal satisfaction of wrapping myself around that despicable piece of trash and dragging him to his death. I remember falling; I remember peace. I remember hanging in limbo, watching the black of night fall away from me with the cold rain washing me clean again.

Tony’s voice breaks me out of my own thoughts as he says, “Do you have any questions? I’ll do my best to answer them.”

“I have infinite questions. I just don’t feel it’s the time to dig too deep into it.”

He nods. “If there’s anything in particular now, just throw it at me.”

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