Page 99 of Cursed Beasts

I nodded my head, still not able to form any sentences.

“We need to talk, and I need to apologize,” he said, standing in front of me. I had to resist the urge to throw myself at him. “Come here.”

He grabbed my hand as I let him lead me to his bed. The contact with him was like a balm to my burning feelings.

“Sit,” he ordered, pulling the bag from my shoulder, and setting it on the floor.

I wanted to be stubborn and stay standing, but a part of me wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Kit Kat, I know sorry isn’t enough. I feel like a horrible person, and I can’t even give you a good reason why I left you that night.” He ran his hands through his hair as he began pacing in front of me. “After fighting with Zev, my wolf’s need to make sure you were ok was excruciating. After you comforted me, I left you in your time of need.”

He looked at me with pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. Instead of just asking you to explain, I let my anger get the best of me, making me walk away from you, and that is not how this works.” He walked up to me, his nearness making me burn for his touch, and if I didn’t get it, I feared I would combust without it. “You should always come first. You’re my mate, my life, my everything and there isn’t anything worse than feeling your pain. You are the air I breathe, the sun that keeps me warm, and the moon that shows me the way home. I exist for you Katarina.”

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling as he squatted down in front of me, and my damn brain couldn’t keep myself from glancing down at his semi erect cock. I swear, just being near him made me wet with need.

“We don’t know each other,” I said, fearful of what my honesty would do to him.

“That was very clear when your husband showed up the other night,” he snarled, but he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I wish you had said something before we slept with each other.”

“What was I supposed to say? Hey, I’m married to a man who has started to hit me because I haven’t been able to get pregnant and my life is one big fertility issue. Or how about you know what, I might be barren and my family thinks that I am a waste of space because I don’t have any magic and the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do, I can’t even get that right.”

The words just poured out of me.

“Do you know how much it kills me that you are tied to a woman who can’t give you what you might want, or what I know your biology craves? I have tried everything, I take my herbs, I don’t go overboard with what I eat, I don’t drink, I—”

“There is nothing wrong with you.” Lucien picked me up, laying me on the bed, and jumped in next to me and held me as I sobbed into his chest. I cried like my life depended on it, letting all these pent-up emotions leave me and my battered soul.

Lucien said nothing as he held me, running his hands through my hair and down my back. His presence soothed me, piecing together parts of my soul with his affection. My feelings for him scared the shit out of me. My feelings for all of them scared me, and if I was being honest with myself, the thought of being with all of them made sense. I felt complete here.

Even grump-ass Zev made sense, but I didn’t think he would ever change his mind against me.

I burrowed my face into Lucien's chest as my crying slowed down. My mind felt exhausted, but for once, I felt a little peace and lighter from my worries.

“If you let me, I would walk to the ends of the earth for you. Just please give me a chance to prove that I can be everything you need. You are perfect the way you are and if we don’t have kids, then I will be happy just having a life by your side,” Lucien murmured into my hair, making me cry again.

“Kit Kat.” Lucien sounded like he was in pain.

He pulled my chin up to look at him, kissing me even though my face was wet and I’m sure there was snot on my face. His kiss was soft, almost reverent, like I was a deity he was willing to worship for the rest of his life. I eased into the kiss, nipping at him, making him growl as I deepened the kiss, but he pulled away.

“I’m serious Katarina, just let me prove to you—”

I pecked him to shut him up.

“Can we just take it slow?” I asked, feeling shy. “I know we need to be near each other, and I crave you like my next meal. This is really fast for me, and I don’t like that a bond is telling me what I should feel.”

“We can take it slow, whatever you need.” He kissed me again. “I need to remember you’re not like me, you didn't grow up in a pack. You didn’t grow up with bonds like this, and I can’t force you and expect you to just go along with it.”

I wanted to cry again because Lucien was really one in a million. “Thank you.”

“Can I ask why you came to my room?” he said, getting up and pulling me up too.

“I wanted to steal a shirt or sleep in your bed,” I said, looking away, wishing I hadn’t blushed at my admission.

Lucien's smile was blinding and very full of himself. I rolled my eyes when I remembered it was late. My watch said four thirty-two, and I froze. I glanced up at him, but his back was turned to me as he looked through a dresser. But my heart was pounding uncontrollably.

“What's wrong?” he asked, turning to look at me when his eyes flashed gold. “Shit, Kit Kat, run!”