Page 73 of The Air You Breathe

The limo was waiting for us outside. Vittoria, the piccolina, Dev and Ava got into the limo while I followed watching our surroundings. I carried several guns in the car now because I wasn’t going to take any more chances. Saul and several men were on the lookout just in case Geraldo showed up to cause shit. We arrived at the church seeing the hearse outside already.

People were filtering into the church, when I got out of the car to escort Dev and the girls to their seats. I saw Armando standing by their car already. We had men everywhere in the church and outside of it, even outside of Lucio’s home, to tell me if he was coming or not.

“She’s here, sir,” Armando told me, as we walked into the church.

“Thanks,” I said, looking for Darcy right away. Dev and I stressed to Saul and Armando that she was supposed to be taken care of like she was family. We didn’t say it in so many words, but I think they both got that she was ours and she was to be protected. I spotted Darcy with Mary in the middle of the church, speaking to each other in hushed tones. As much as I wanted to go over there and kiss her, I kept my distance.

The mass was a very somber experience. The priest talked about celebrating Giovanni’s life. We had told everyone that he died of a rare aneurysm. So, what the priest said was fitting but most of us in the church knew it was bullshit. The time came for the pallbearers to lift Giovanni up and make our way to the hearse. Dev and I were in the front while Armando and Saul took the middle, and two more men took the back.

Feeling the weight of Giovanni on my shoulder choked me up. I failed him, but I couldn’t afford to fail again. Too many people were relying on me, especially the beautiful woman who couldn’t take her eyes off Dev and me. Failing wasn’t an option, when the future I had fought for and dreamed about was so close to coming true.

30

DEV

Burying my brother was not something I expected to do—ever. I knew there was always a possibility because of what he did with Lucio, but I always thought he was too good at his job to ever be put in that situation. It never occurred to me that Lucio would be the one to put a bullet in his head.

I really hated Evan and Giovanni; I thought they would have been smarter. They were reckless, costing Giovanni his life. As much as I wanted to blame Evan for his death, the only person I needed to blame was Lucio.

Looking around the cemetery for him, I wondered if he was going to ruin this with his presence. I held on to my sister and Vittoria who was holding my niece on her hip as the priest said some more words. I didn’t pay attention to what he was saying, I was too lost in my own thoughts, and I also wasn’t a man of God.

I looked up at all the faces in the crowd and knew they were all here for good reasons. The only person missing was Giovanni’s mama, but it was hard to get her down here and she was afraid of being here with Lucio in the same city. I spotted Darcy with Mary and my heart flipped.

We all had a discussion and we told her she didn’t need to be here, but she was adamant on being here for us. We locked eyes for a moment before I lingered too long, and I had impure thoughts at my brother's funeral. Giovanni would have liked her. He would have thrown a party to celebrate that I had a woman who I was settling down with.

He always said I was missing out on coming home to a woman in my house, in my bed and someone to share my life with. Giovanni and Vittoria had been together since they were twenty, and eleven years later, they were still crazy about each other. I wanted that. I was just worried I wouldn’t find a woman who would live through the shit I had to deal with.

“Would the family like to say any last words?” The priest looked at me because we agreed I would say something, but I couldn’t. The thought of saying goodbye to him for everyone to hear would be unbearable.

I shook my head at the priest, and saw Evan walk up behind him quietly saying something to him before he stepped forward.

“Thank you for coming today. We appreciate everyone and the kind words you have left for Giovanni’s family. I still think that my friend is going to call me, and that last week didn’t happen, this was all a bad dream. I keep thinking he will call me and tell me I’m a coglione.” Evan chuckled and so did most of us. “I know he made an impact on a lot of your lives, but for me he saved me. I was a mess a few years ago, but if it weren't for Giovanni, my life would be shit. I know that I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for him.”

He glanced at Darcy and then me.

“I owe him for giving me so much that I will never be able to repay that debt. But I will try everyday to make sure I pay—” He stopped talking abruptly, looking tense. I would have thought it was him choking up, but he looked angry. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I knew he was here. That asshole had come to his funeral. “I’m sorry. I will make sure to pay it forward because he deserved so much more from this life.”

Evan started the line to pay respects to us, starting with the piccolina and Vittoria. Vittoria held on to him for dear life and let go for a minute. I heard her whimper, which broke my heart, making Ava bury her head into my chest too.

Evan stayed close as the rest of the guests made their way to give us their condolences. My anxiety increased with each person I saw come up to Vittoria. I hoped it wasn’t him and once everyone had come forward, we didn’t see him. After we buried Giovanni, we went to Evan’s home for the reception, where he had someone cater for us.

I was on edge the entire time expecting Lucio to walk through Evan’s door at any moment. Vittoria, Ava and I were on the sofa eating and watching the commotion around us. People were nice enough to give us space, but a few people had come up to us again expressing their sympathy again.

“Hey, Saul needs a word.” Evan came up to me on the sofa. “He’s in my bedroom.

I looked at him like he was crazy, but he gave me that look that I needed to go talk to him. I nodded, looking over at Ava who looked so tired.

“Come on Ava, let’s get you a nap, I’ll be back to sit with them.” Evan looked over at Vittoria, then grabbed Ava’s hand, tucking her against his side as he took her to a guest bedroom. I walked to the other side of the living room, going down the hallway to the last bedroom, walking in without knocking.

“What the hell is so important that you couldn’t wait—”

I saw Darcy standing in the middle of the room, making me close the door quickly to rush to her. We collided forcefully, kissing frantically, touching each other everywhere. I wanted just a moment to kiss her and hold her, but the need to have Darcy was overwhelming.

“Darcy,” I groaned, about to pull away because I knew if I didn’t, we would end up fucking.

She pulled me back like she knew what I needed, making us fall onto the bed.

“Darcy.” She bit my lip, making me grind into her. “I’m not going to be gentle. I need to fuck the pain away.”

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