Page 72 of The Air You Breathe

Planning Giovanni’sfuneral was a fucking nightmare. I never thought I would bury my best friend, but here I was, putting on a suit and getting ready to head to Vittoria’s house. The last few days had been fucking awful working all day and only an hour or two with Darcy or sometimes just a phone call.

Dev had been keeping an eye on her, giving me updates when he could. Even though I should have been jealous, I couldn’t help but feel relieved that she had someone who was there for her when I couldn’t be, reminding her she wasn’t alone and that she was safe. I was anxious to finally be able to spend more than just a few moments with Darcy after the funeral.

Fixing my tie one more time before I grabbed my keys, locked up and headed over to Vittoria’s house. She didn’t live far but on my way, I called Saul to see if he had anything for me. It seemed that almost overnight all of Giovanni’s loyal guys had begun to look to me to fill his shoes. I knew people hated Lucio, but the seething hatred direct at him was something I hadn’t expected.

Giovanni was respected by his men because he was fair and honest; he was a good fucking person in spite of half the illegal shit we had to do. It wasn’t fair that Giovanni and I had tried to keep Dev from Lucio, but he needed an “heir” and apparently your empire was only as good as your heir.

I pulled up to see Dev already at Vittoria’s house, and thankfully no one else. Before I let myself in, I took a deep breath to keep my emotions in check. I owed it to Dev and Vittoria to be strong.

“Fanculo!” I heard a scream with a whole bunch of Italian swear words and I rushed into the house expecting to see someone like Geraldo inside, but Vittoria was screaming and throwing things in the living room. Dev looked relieved when he saw me; he had his niece by the hand and pushed Ava away. I went straight to Vittoria, dodging the things she threw at me. She was in a white robe with her hair done, it looked like she started to lose it while she was getting ready.

She was speaking so fast that I couldn’t even pick up individual words until she screamed my name. Giovanni told her everything, and I didn’t keep anything from her either. She had to be blaming me for his death because for the past few days I had been blaming myself too.

“Vittoria, I’m sorry,” I said, inching myself closer.

More Italian was spewed at me, but she was losing steam. I took the chance to grab her and hold on to her. She thrashed for a bit before she just sobbed in my arms, holding on to me tight.

I sat on the floor, hoping I wasn’t going to sit on some glass. I rubbed her back while trying to fight back my own tears, the guilt was always there.

“I’m so sorry, Vittoria.” My voice broke, making me clear my throat to finish what I had to say. “I know saying sorry doesn’t help, but I will do everything in my power to make him pay. I owe you that.”

“I want his head on a platter, Evan. He deserves to suffer like the cowardly animale he is,” she mumbled against my chest. “He stole my baby’s father, my husband, and Dev’s brother.”

“I don’t know if I could deliver his head on a platter but I will make sure he suffers for his crimes.” We sat there for a few more moments before she pushed away from me.

“Don’t let Devlin go down the same path.” She wiped her face with her arm. She looked so worn out with bags under her puffy eyes from crying so much.

“I won’t, I’ll make sure I do whatever it takes to keep him in the same position Giovanni and I wanted for him.” I wiped the tears off her face with my thumbs. “I know Giovanni left you guys with money to take care of yourselves, but if you need anything please let me know. I will do everything I can to make sure you don't need anything.”

“I will,” she said, looking around. “Fuck, I have to pick this up.”

“I got it, I think you need to see the piccolina,” I said, helping her stand, picking her up to make sure she didn’t step on any glass. I heard Dev and the girls in the kitchen, so I carried her all the way over there. They were all at the table coloring.

“Mama.” Her daughter ran up to her. “Are you ok?” She threw herself at Vittoria when I set her down.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, picking her up and kissing her head. She spoke to her in Italian while she ran her hand through her hair.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s let your momma finish getting dressed.” I held my hands out to her and she instantly launched herself at me.

“Efan!” she squealed, hugging my neck as tight as she could.

“Is he coming?” Vittoria looked at me like the fearless woman I knew she was. For a moment after I broke the news that Giovanni was dead and that it was more than likely at the hands of Lucio, I seriously thought she would take one of the many guns she had and send Lucio to hell herself.

“I keep hearing he’s not, but I expect him to show a display of power,” I said, being as honest as I could.

“Ok, give me thirty minutes,” she said, before she turned and left us all in the kitchen.

“Have you eaten, piccolina?” I asked, taking her to the table, kissing her cheek.

“Si, zio made me pancakes,” she smiled.

“That's good,” I said, sitting down. “Hey, Ava.”

I sat across from her feeling that guilt creeping up again. She looked at me, her face crumbling into tears as she put her head down. Dev nodded at me, reassuring me that it was okay, but that nagging feeling that it should have been me, had been eating away at me.

I left the girls with Dev while I picked up the living room quickly, spending the next fifteen minutes in silence. Dev calmed Ava down and I kept the piccolina entertained by coloring with her and doing a few puzzles. I gave her a snack—maybe a few pieces of candy, because she fucking deserved them—before I knew Vittoria was going to be done. As she was eating, I didn’t know how much she understood about what was going on today. She was three, but I was too afraid to ask, in case I made it worse.

Vittoria came out looking ready to kill; she looked every bit the wife of a mobster. Her makeup hid away all the pain, the exhaustion and the weakness. She was ready for battle, and I didn’t want to say that’s what we were doing, but I knew that at any moment I could be next or worse, Dev.

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