Page 62 of The Air You Breathe

25

DARCY

When Evan said that Giovanni died, I thought it was just another guy they worked with, but when Evan looked like he was in pain. I knew it wasn’t just some random dude. I wracked my brain trying to figure out if Dev had said anything about Giovanni and then it clicked. It was his brother.

I didn’t know what to do, especially being an only child, so I just held his arm and then he ran outside, I knew he needed space. When I heard him yelling, I rushed outside looking around, and I heard it again. It sounded like he was in an insurmountable amount of pain, making me silently cry for him.

It had always just been Mary and me most of my life, losing her is what I would imagine the pain that Dev is feeling. I waited on the steps of the porch for him, feeling useless as I hugged my legs to my chest. All I wanted to do was bring him comfort, but I didn’t know how. When he came walking out of the trees, relief flooded my heart because for a moment it was too quiet, and I thought maybe he got lost or someone had taken him.

His face was red, splotchy, his blue eyes looked muted against the sadness in them. My heart broke for him again, hating that he had to go through this, fueling my anger even more for Lucio. I hesitated until he choked out a ‘please’ and I threw myself at him. We cried together as I held him as tight as I could, rubbing his back then stroking his head.

Once we both settled down, he said he needed to go tell Ava in person, making that anger flare up once again at that piece of shit man. I put my shoes on quickly, grabbed my bag, and saw Dev looking at his phone with a lost expression.

“Do you want to eat?” I asked, before I left the room.

He shook his head as he typed out a text. I left him to do what he needed to do while I started to pick up the kitchen.

“Come on, Darcy, we can do that when we get back,” Dev’s voice was grittier than normal. He held his hand out to me and I took it without hesitation. We left the cabin, opening the door to climb into his Impala. I noticed some blood on the seat from the night before, making my stomach sour.

“Shit, let me get something to wipe it down really quick before we pick up Ava.” Dev ran into the cabin.

He came out with a rag and some cleaning spray. When most of it came out, I checked the back to make sure we had cleaned everything. The last thing we needed was to scare poor Ava.

It was a very quiet drive as Dev held my hand running his thumb over my knuckles, looking over at me like he was afraid I might disappear. I squeezed his hand often, trying to reassure him in any way that I could.

It was mid-morning when we passed the main road, the town was going about its business, and I hated that things felt so normal here when everything around Dev and I felt like destruction.

“I will drop you off, then go see Ava,” he said, looking around like he was on high alert.

“I want to go with you,” I said, squeezing his hand looking over at him.

He shook his head. “Darcy, you don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to,” I said, leaning my head on his arm. “I know this won't be easy and I want to be there for you.”

“I’m picking her up from school and then I’ll tell her at home,” he said, pulling his arm away and laid it on my thigh, squeezing the inside.

“Okay.” I kissed his upper arm.

We drove to Mountain View High School, towards the football field because that is where we left to skip class. Ava was there texting on her phone; she looked up at us with a huge smile on her face. Dev got out of the car to let her in.

“Hey guys!” she yelled, looking excited.

“Hey Ava,” I said, trying to keep my face from falling apart.

“We haven't had a ditch day in forever! What are we going to do?” I couldn’t help but smile hearing that he did this with his sister often.

“We are going to stop at the house first,” he said, looking back at her in the rearview mirror.

“Great, I think I want to change my shoes, my feet hurt because—” Ava rambled the entire way to their house which was in a nicer area of Mountain View. It was a new development that was only about a decade old. Their house was a cute two-story home that was black and pine colored. Ava raced out of the car first, storming into the house while we followed her.

“Ava!” Dev yelled for her as she disappeared into the house. “Fuck,” her grumbled. “I’ll be back, make yourself at home. My bedroom is down that hall to the right if you want to lay down.”

“Go, I’ll be fine,” I said, before I gave him a peck on the lips, but Dev had other plans. He kissed me like it was our last, making me feel it in my soul and for a moment I wanted to panic. He rested his forehead against mine.

“Thank you for being here.” He kissed my forehead. “You just being near me is making this bearable. If you weren't here, I think I would have lost my shit and done something really fucking stupid. I lo— I’m glad you're here.”

Did he almost say he loved me?

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