Page 21 of Want Me

Chapter 11

Daphnedidn’tcometowork on Monday.

There was a note on her personal schedule saying she would be working from home. That was all.

I had spent the entire weekend going over everything in my mind: the threesome, all the times I had been intimate with Daphne, all the moments I had questioned her feelings towards me. I knew that I loved her, but despite everything, I still didn’t know how she felt towards me. And I finally realized that was the answer.

All those moments I was questioning, all those glances and looks I so desperately wanted to mean something were just…moments. There was no deeper meaner. There was no happily ever after. She had enjoyed our physical relationship, but that was all it was. She didn’t love me, and she never would.

Part of me was relieved that I didn’t have to face her. I wasn’t sure how I would act, or what expression I would make. I knew that I was being ridiculous. Here I was, a grown woman, letting myself be dragged around by what amounted to little more than a high school crush. My mind knew I needed to let it go, but God it was hard. It hurt.

Richard was unusually nice to me, though it was hard to know if he was acting on Oliver’s orders or if he could pick up on my mood. Either way, I was grateful.

I was so full of dread on Tuesday morning that my hands shook opening the door, but I made it in. Richard looked up as I walked in, then cut his eyes over to Daphne’s door. “She’s here,” he said. He always knew what I was thinking.

I took a breath, focusing on the feeling as my lungs filled. Before I had left the night before I’d checked her schedule and knew she was free in the morning. Delaying the inevitable would only make it worse.

It had never been so hard to knock on her door, but I managed. After I few seconds I went in, closing it behind me.

There she was, sitting behind her desk just as she always did. She kept her eyes on her computer, typing away at something as I crossed to the open seat. My heart was beating so loudly she must have heard it, but I forced myself to sit.

After a few seconds, it was clear she wasn’t going to speak first, so I cleared my throat. “Daphne-”

She held up a finger, cutting me off. I chewed on my lip as her typing resumed, her fingers speeding across her keyboard. The waiting did little to settle my nerves and I still wasn’t sure what I was going to say. My mind had become an empty expanse with no help to offer my mouth.

Finally, the clicking of her keyboard fell silent, and she turned to me. There was nothing. No sadness, or anger. No light, or shadow. Her face was blank as she looked at me, as though I was a stranger.

My heart crawled into my throat, desperate for an end to the pain. “I wanted to talk-”

“I’m leaving in half an hour,” she said, cutting me off again.

I frowned. “Leaving where?” There was nothing on her schedule.

“Los Angeles. It was a last-minute decision. I’ll be back Saturday and I’ve already dealt with this week’s schedule.”

My stomach swirled. I was always the one who handled changes to her schedule, no matter how short the notice. For her not to tell me…something was wrong.

I swallowed hard, trying to make room for my voice. “Do you need me to go with you?”

“No.” It was what I expected, but the finality of the word bit me to the core. She shifted in her seat, some unidentifiable emotion flashing behind her eyes. “Donovan will be joining me, so you won’t be needed.”

“I see.” I managed to force the corners of my mouth up. “Let me know if there’s anything you need. If you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make.”

There was nothing else to say. My vision started to blur as I stood, and all I could do was pray she didn’t see the tears forming. I made it past my desk and into the hall before they started to fall. There were too many fucking people in the hallways, everyone arriving like always for a normal day of work. I kept as close to the wall as I could until I reached the closest bathroom and locked myself in the stall.

My body slumped against the wall as my legs began to shake. Sobs pushed their way past my lips, and I was beyond grateful that the bathroom was empty.

I didn’t know when it had happened, but Daphne had realized my feelings. I should have been relieved that she let me down so gently, but her words kept repeating in my head:you won’t be needed.

She didn’t need me. She didn’t want me. She had made her choice.

It would be Daphne and Donovan after all. I had lost. All that was left was for me to accept it, but I wasn’t sure if I could. When it came down to it, would I be able to watch her and Donovan together? Would I be able to stand it as they grew closer while I remained nothing more than her secretary?

Hot tears streamed down my face, smearing mascara around my eyes. I shouldn’t have been surprised. This was always how it was going to end. My feelings for her would continue to be unrequited, and I would have to make peace with that, no matter how badly it hurt.

Chapter 12

Thedaysdraggedon,and Daphne was gone. In my heart, I knew it was a good thing to have some space from each other, but that didn’t stop me from glancing at her door, or keep my thoughts from drifting to her. I missed her. I missed her presence, her voice, and the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled at me. But none of those moments belonged to me anymore, if they ever had.

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