Page 60 of Lovely Violent Things

Her expression softens. “It’s meant to relax you. Not alter your decision making. You’ll need to be relaxed for what happens next.”

I force a swallow past the thickening of my throat. “You could have just come to me,” I say. “Talked to me. You’re my friend, Devyn.”

“I know this, Halen. And you would’ve psychoanalyzed me, and tried to make me see the logic. But this isn’t about right and wrong. Good and evil. This is so much bigger than all that basic shit.”

My equilibrium pitches sideways, and she reaches out to steady me. I hold on to her shoulder and find the gentle brown of her eyes. “Then where does that leave us?”

Reaching up, she traps the shock of white hair framing my face. She admires the lock, touching my hair the way Kallum would, before curling the length behind my ear. “You'll come with me,” she says assuredly. “You want to know how I know this?”

I shudder out a breath, hating the layer of heartache encasing me at losing her.

“Because of that right there.” Melancholy touches her smile, affecting, sincere. “How long before the pain hits in the morning? A minute? Not even a full thirty seconds? How much reprieve do you get before you remember all the death, the loss…?”

A violent ache rips through my chest wall, the pain stealing my breath. The stinging pressure builds behind my sinuses, and a tear tracks down my cheek. I suck in a gasp, lips trembling. “Fuck you, Devyn.”

“I’m not your enemy, Halen.” She palms my face, her thumb swipes my cheek to clear the tear track. “Memory is your enemy. Consciously trying to heal from the pain hurts worse.Somuch worse. I can help you forget the pain. It’s easier to simply…let go.”

A surge of dizziness crashes over me, and I sway out of her touch. Coffee gripped tight in my hand, I say, “I’ve fought every goddamn day not to give in…” I trail off to catch my breath. “There is no easy way out.”

There is always hurt and pain left in the wake of death.

There is always someone left to suffer the loss.

She presses her lips together, features drawn tight. “Only through pain and suffering do we ascend,” she says. “That’s why it’s you, Halen. Take my hand.”

I wipe my face, lightheaded, as a laugh slips free. “Why would I ever do that?”

“Because, there's so much you want to know,haveto know. And, where he merely dangled answers just out of your reach, I will give them to you freely.”

I lock with her gaze. “Everything has a price.”

“But it’s the price to solve your mystery.”

I look at the police building, to where Kallum is locked within its walls.

I came to this town to find the lost victims. But I was caught in a web, tangled in a bigger mystery, and I’ve since become the one who is lost.

A warm buzz courses my veins. Acceptance is solace. “What is there left to lose.”

As long as no one conducts a search of the FBI vehicles, then Devyn’s attempt to frame Kallum for the Harbinger murder will be faltered. If I don’t make it out of this, I know Kallum will. Crosby will arrive in town tomorrow. And Kallum always finds a way to outsmart everyone.

Because I already know what comes next.

I bring the coffee cup to my lips. Holding Devyn’s deep eyes over the rim, I drink.

“Good girl.” Devyn holds out her hand. “It’s time to go.”

The lights twinkle brighter as my pupils dilate. Sounds are louder. Devyn is more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her, a siren luring me with her angelic voice.

I slip my hand into hers. “Take me to them.”

13

CREATIVE GENIUS

KALLUM

Of all the deities on the Greek pantheon, Dionysus was the only god who demanded a violent ritual in worship. The rending of animal and human fed an innate, primal desire within, creating a link to the god himself.

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