Page 23 of Bleeding Hearts

“Okay, well, clearly, none of us are ready to start moving yet,” Logan says, referring to Demi, Theo, Gabby, and herself. “So, why don’t you two go grab some pastries, donuts, bagels, whatever, from the shop around the corner while we get ready and then we can start?” She smiles up at Kade.

“Of course, whatever you want.” He smiles down at her.

“Oh, yes. Yum,” Demi says, grabbing a pen from the drawer right in front of her. She reaches out, grabs my hand and writes on my palm.

“You’re telling me you couldn’t find a piece of paper in here somewhere? Or, I don’t know, just texted me your order?” I ask, looking down to where she’s still writing.

“I mean, I could, but this is more fun. You can rewrite it after. I need to get it all down before I forget.”

“How much food do you want?” I ask, after a minute of her writing, noticing nearly my entire hand is covered.

“Shut up, I’m hungry.” She finishes up her order, capping the pen and throwing it back in the drawer. I just laugh at her as she smiles up at me.

“Alright, we’ll be back.” Kade gently lifts Lo off his lap, kissing her like it’s the last time he’ll see her even though we’ll be back in a mere twenty minutes. “Try and get them ready to go?”

“I will, thank you,” Lo says, placing one more swift kiss on his lips before letting him go.

“A kiss for the road, sugar lips?” I turn to Demi, a smile on my face.

She looks over at Kade with a twinkle in her eye and then goes to move toward me, but Kade is quicker, grabbing me and pulling me toward the door.

“Let’s go,” he grumbles.

Demi’s laughter follows me as I walk out the door. Sweetest fucking sound I’ve ever heard.

“I need a fucking nap,” Demi says, collapsing onto the couch in her apartment.

We didn’t end up getting out of here this morning until well after ten and moving took a little under five hours, so it’s already almost four p.m. now.

Lo definitely had more stuff than I anticipated, but that’s not what took so long. Theo had insisted that everything had to be loaded into the truck in a particular order so that nothing got messed up on the drive over, and while Lo didn’t seem to care, it became evident quickly that Theo was in charge.

It also became apparent that none of them were planning on actually doing any of the moving and were just there to watch me and Kade move boxes, which meant a lot more trips up and down the stairs.

“Why do you need a nap? You barely lifted a finger the entire time,” I say, lifting her legs to sit down on the couch under them.

She shivers slightly at my touch, and I know what it means. I’ve always known what it means.

Demi’s attracted to me, she’s never done a good job at hiding it, even if she thinks she does, and if it were anyone else, I would’ve made my move months ago. But I can’t, not with her.

Demi knows what I’m like. She’s seen me bring girls home and hasn’t batted an eye. She accepts me for the way I am. Not only that, but she’s also probably the best friend I’ve ever had, although I’d never admit that to her brother.

My point is, none of that is anything I’m willing to lose for a night of great sex with her because that’s all it could ever be, sex.

I don’t do relationships, never have. Life is short, and at any moment, the rug can be swept out from under you. I know the feeling all too well.

I refuse to waste my time searching for “the one” when chances are we’ll get married, have a kid, and end up divorced, hating each other anyway. Statistics have proved it time and time again.

I love my parents, but their chaotic relationship is exhausting enough to watch. Living that life isn’t something I want. And then there’s also the part of me that’s scared, but that’s another story. One I’m not willing to think about.

So yeah, the whole marriage, kids, happy life thing, it’s not for me. I’d rather live my life to the fullest while I can, spend every day like it’s my last and all that shit.

But Demi deserves better than that.

Demi deserves to be swept off her feet. To find the one who wants to spoil her for the rest of her life with everything and anything she could ever dream of.

She deserves a husband with a stable job but still puts her far ahead of his work and lots of kids because she’d be a fantastic fucking mom. She deserves the world, and I’d never be able to give her even a sliver of it.

I can be her friend, though. And if that’s all I can ever be to her, then I’m gonna be the best fucking friend she’s ever had.

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