Page 31 of Bleeding Hearts

With the others, I never didn’t want it, but I don’t know how much I actually wanted it either. I was kind of indifferent. With Asher, it’s not just a want but sometimes feels as strong as a need.

I’m constantly wondering what his lips would feel like pressed against mine, pressed against other places. What his hands would feel like roaming over every inch of my body, what he would feel like inside of me. I clench my thighs at the intrusive thoughts.

It’s moments like this, when the thought of him alone turns me on more than anyone else ever has that I wonder if maybe it could be different with him? Maybe it really was the other men, and it wasn’t me? Maybe sex could be good and maybe I want to try.

But then I remember that’s all it would be, sex. Asher has made it a point that he and relationships don’t mesh, and I highly doubt that I would be the exception.

And is good sex worth ruining our friendship? Absolutely not.

“Yeah, we’re just friends.” I sigh.

I look up to meet Theo’s eyes which are scrutinizing me in a way that makes me feel exposed.

“Hmm,” he mumbles before he looks toward the door and a smile graces his face. “Well, since he’s such a great friend of yours, maybe we could ask him to help us clean up the bar the day before so we could decorate for Lo’s wedding?”

“I mean, yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.” I scrunch my eyebrows together, confused that he changed the topic so easily.

“Fabulous. We can ask him now.” He smiles, looking back over toward the door. “Asher,” he yells loud enough to get his attention over the music and chatter.

I turn to see him, a wide smile on his face as he walks straight over to the table, his eyes locked on mine. I can’t help the smile that finds my lips as I see him. It’s immediate.

Just like I can’t help the way my body heats, reacting to his closeness as he scoots into the booth next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulder. Or like the way my heart flutters at how natural it feels to have him by my side.

But I also can’t help the immediate pang of hurt in my stomach when I remember that none of those reactions or feelings matter.

Because Asher is just my friend. I think.

Right?

CHAPTERNINE

Asher

I knew she was going to be here when I showed up. She mentioned earlier when we were texting that she was meeting Gabby and Theo here to plan Kade and Logan's wedding, not as an invite, just when talking about her day.

Am I an asshole for crashing her plans because I wanted to see her? Maybe. Do I care? Now that she’s sitting pressed up against me, a smile on her face, fuck no.

“What are you doing here?” She pulls the red lollipop out of her mouth and smiles up at me.

I swear I can feel my heart pound faster against my chest and my blood starts pumping.

That smile of hers just does something to me.

She plops the lollipop back into her mouth. She’s always sucking on them, and fuck, it just makes her that much more tempting.

“I just came for a drink. I totally forgot you said you were gonna be here,” I lie.

I’m not sure why I even do it. I’ve never had an issue telling Demi I was bored and wanted to come hang with her, so why does it feel different this time? Maybe because it’s less about being bored and more about wanting to be near her.

I don’t think when I reach down, pulling the lollipop from between her lips and sticking it between my own. The sweet cherry flavor explodes on my tongue as I suck on it.

I look down at her to find her eyes wide, staring at where the lollipop sits between my lips.

I smirk around the candy and her eyes rise to meet mine, an annoyed but still playful look entering them.

“Excuse you.” She reaches out, yanking the candy out of my mouth. “I don’t share candy.” She smiles before sticking it back in her mouth, making sure to not break eye contact with me as she does.

The clearing of a throat pulls my attention away from her.

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