Behind us, I hear the zipper as Livvie lets herself out of the tent. Reaching down, I take Babs's hands and pull them from my waist, then I step out of her embrace. I instantly regret the decision, feeling as if I’ve been cored and now have a gaping hole in my center.
As Livvie steps out of the tent and locks eyes with me, I force a smile and hold up my cup. “Want some cider?”
She glances at Babs, who is still standing behind me. Livvie’s face clouds for a second before nodding. “Sure. Lemme get changed first.”
I grab a new mug, keeping my back to Babs. I don’t want to see the look on her face. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
I know it’s too soon.
It doesn’t hurt any less though. It still feels like that day I put myself out there when we were teens and she shot me down. No. That’s a lie.This feels worse.
I’ve felt her lips.
I’ve seen her smile, knowing she feels the same way about me that I do about her. Something’s holding her back.
As much as I want Babs, I promised Livvie I’d always put her first. Pursuing Babs while she’s playing hot & cold will not only be torture for me, but it will hurt Livvie too. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
By the time we load up the truck to head home a couple of hours later, hardly anyone is speaking.
It’s almost painful driving home. The whole time, Livvie keeps trying to catch my eye in the rearview mirror and gesturing to say something to Babs. I keep shaking my head and focusing my attention on the road until Livvie throws her hands up in the air. her hands fall onto her thighs with a slap and make a disgusted sound in the back seat.
Babs stares out the window and watches the scenery.
I war with myself all the way until we pull in front of Babs’s hotel. As soon as the truck begins to slow, she glances over her shoulder and says to Livvie in a cheerful voice, “Thank you for letting me go camping with you. I wish we could have spent some more time together.”
My gut clenches like she’d punched me.
Then Babs glances in my direction but doesn’t make eye contact. She says in a more subdued voice, “You too.”
Babs's cheeks are wet. Son of a…
I’ve done that to her. She’s been crying the entire ride home, and I didn’t notice it. I was so caught up in myself that I wasn’t thinking of her. Man, I’m a jerk.
I stop at the curb and open my mouth to say something, but she leaps out and hurries toward the bed of the truck.
I try to meet her at the tailgate, but she’s already retrieved her bag and is scurrying inside the hotel.
“Babs!” I call after her.
She shakes her head, waves me off, and keeps walking.
I stand by the bumper watching her go inside, feeling like I’ve been blitzed without a defensive line to protect me.
Chapter 23
Running Away
Carrie
AssoonasIget to my hotel room, I take a shower, then climb into bed and cry. I don’t leave for the next twenty-four hours.
Ryan calls and texts several times, but I don’t answer any of them. How can I? I’ll just start crying again.
How did the camping trip go from ‘just what my heart needed’ to ‘soul-ripping agony’ so quickly?
When he asked if he could call or visit, I panicked. I wanted Ryan to call me after this week. Heaven knows I’d probably give my left arm to have him call me, but visit? That’d be a nightmare. At least at first. Until I can extract myself from Hilloria. Her prying eyes. Her judgmental stares and sneering remarks.
I didn’t want her attention drawn to Ryan. I’ve spent the last several years under her thumb. I can handle a couple more months with that witch.