Page 78 of Taken By the Fake Fiancé

"I can't… I--"

Declan's face hardens.

"You can't? What's the problem?"

I step up and kiss his forehead, then rub his shoulders.

"Goodbye, Declan."

Eli turns his face away as I approach him. The tears he's been holding all morning are now spilling down his face. He wipes them off and sniffles.

"Just go. You've got nothing to say to me."

I stop behind him, putting my arms around his neck.

"Eli, don't be like that. Please. I'll visit and we can paint during vacations and weekends. We can hike too. Whatever you want."

He swirls around abruptly.

"I want you to stay! That's what I want, Ms. Goleman."

I nod tearfully, biting my bottom lip.

"I need to visit my family in Boston. I haven't seen them in a while."

"And after that?" he says, pinning me with a piercing glare.

I fidget nervously. I feel so guilty. I feel heartbroken too. I've thought about this over and over again but I'm still very much afraid of taking this step with Declan. Yes, I admit I'm a weakling who can't stay and fight for what she wants. But I just... I can't do this right now. Some things just aren't meant to be and my relationship with Declan might just be one of them.

"You won't understand, Eli. I'm sorry."

"Why? Because I'm not an adult?!" he yells; nose flared.

I gulp and shake my head vehemently.

"No. That's not the point. The thing is, I don't understand it myself, so it's hard for me to explain."

I lean in to kiss his cheeks, but he tilts his face away from me.

Oh.

The tears are flowing freely now. I don't think I'll ever heal from this.

Declan puts my suitcases in my car trunk and then holds the driver's door open for me. As I brush past him, his natural essence mingles with his aftershave, my body explodes with a tingling sensation.

Without thinking, I lean in and sniff his neck. My nose nuzzles his chin, then I pull back.

"Thank you for everything, Declan. I'll never forget these few weeks I spent with you."

Declan's gaze lowers to my lips. He raises a hand and wipes off my tears with his thumb.

"Good. I want you to always remember how much you've taken from me. You have my heart, Felicity, you just keep on squeezing it, hurting me without remorse."

I nod, feeling an unbearable coldness loom down on me. He looks different and it's all my fault. I know I'm being selfish, but the past is etched so deeply in my mind. Even now that I know Allard is no longer lurking around me, I still expect the worst and there's this part of me that feels that somehow, I made Allard into that monster.

"I'm sorry." I sigh.

His face blanches.

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