Page 81 of Plays Well With Others

Starting now.

I grab my phone, search for cute leopard-print panties, and order a few pairs.

I send them to my home for express delivery. Then I forward her the email, adding a line:For next time.

It’s a sex gift. That’s all. Even though a new notification pops up on my phone—a calendar invite for this weekend.

Carter and Rachel decide upon costumes for the Halloween party so they can claim top prize like the badasses they are.

I hit accept. I won’t feel all warm and fuzzy about a reminder. I won’t. I just fucking won’t.

Then, with my renewed focus, I open my text app and start a message.

26

IF YOU GIVE A MOOSE A TO-DO LIST

Carter: What else is on your list?

Rachel: Besides showering?

Carter: Mental note made of showering.

Rachel: You’re taking a note that I’m showering?

Carter: You took mental pictures of my shower. Fair’s fair. But seriously. Your sex list. In bed last night, you mentioned you wanted me to show you how to do…a certain something.

Rachel: Are you actually afraid to say give a blow job?

Carter: Blow me.

Carter: Suck me.

Carter: Take that dick.

Carter: There. I was being fucking polite.

Rachel: I’m so proud of you for using your words. But by list, I thought you meant a to-do list.

Carter: You thought I was texting you about your to-do list?

Rachel: Well, yeah. And it was sort of sweet that you’d ask.

Carter: Now I have to know—do you really put shower on your to-do list?

Rachel: Ummmmm.

Carter: Holy shit. You do???

Rachel: Sometimes I get busy and then I’m doing fifty things and I’m behind on the day, and then all of a sudden, someone is coming over and I’m showering later than expected and then he shows up right when I’m answering the phone with my boobs flying!

Carter: DO NOT EVER PUT SHOWER ON YOUR TO-DO LIST WHEN I’M ON MY WAY OVER.

Rachel: Glad to know you always want me to answer phone calls shirtless.

Carter: I always do. Anyway, so you have a sex list. Go on.

Rachel: I don’t actually have a sex list. But I have some ideas.

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