Page 8 of Plays Well With Others

Damn, see inside my soul, woman.

I hit accept, grab the water bottle I’d forgotten about, and feed Jane. When I’m done, I head to the bathroom. As I brush my teeth, I pick up my day-of-the-week pill container to confirm what I suspect. Yup. I took it this morning right on time. I can’t take Adderall since it’s a banned substance in pro football, but I’ve been taking non-stimulant meds for years.

They help.

Mostly.

I’m sure Quinn would say they don’t, but whatever. She might not have liked that I was late now and then to pick her up for dates, but I’m not the one who ran off to join the circus after saying yes to a marriage proposal. A few weeks after posting herlook at my ringpics, she skipped out of here with her diamond, leaving only a goodbye text that saidGot a gig with Cirque du Soleil! Maybe we can date another time.

So, maybe the demisewasn’tabout my occasional tardiness.

Still, I know what I was like without these, and I didn’t enjoy myself then. The meds don’t solve everything, but they make it easier for me to be present at most everyday moments.

Like this party tonight, when I will be all friendship all the time with Rachel. And, as Monroe suggested, I’ll try to find a moment to joke about yesterday.

After brushing my teeth, I take off to pick up our kicker on the way to practice. Thank fuck for the game. Football is one of the few times everything goes quiet and comes into focus. My brain settles down on the field and knows its place—working in synchronicity with my body. Another thing happens, too, when I play ball. Time makes perfect sense. The clock is my friend, not my enemy. When I play football, I can feel the passing of every single second and experience every glorious moment.

The sport is a little like magic.

And, after the last twenty-four hours, I’m craving the tricks football plays on my mind.

4

AND THE DRESS CODE TONIGHT IS…

Rachel

I should call it off.

I’m not a throw-myself-a-party person. It’s a little self-indulgent.

I’m pacing behind the counter of my jewelry shop on Friday evening, seriously weighing my decision to let Juliet talk me into thisfête. It’s just me here, handling the shop solo since I sent Fable home early to work on her own jewelry designs.

Alone with my thoughts, I’m second-guessing tonight big time. Is an extravagant party really the best way to start over? Maybe I should stay home and find a new recipe to tinker with. I discovered a great new baking blog earlier this week. I bet there are all sorts of fun treats I can make. Maybe give out to my neighbors as I get to know them.

I grab my phone from my back pocket and tap out a quick text to my friend Hazel, who’s in town for my official divorce party. The one I might be canceling. We can all just grab drinks at my place instead. Maybe my friends can help me bake too.

Rachel: On a scale of one to ten, how much would Juliet kill me for canceling the party she insisted on throwing me?

Hazel: One hundred. Also, why, why, why?

Rachel: I should just focus on my shop. I’m here to grow Bling and Baubles, not call attention to my pathetic-ass self.

Lord knows, I inadvertently called enough attention to myself yesterday with my impulsive phone answering. The only reason I’m not suffering from next-day mortification is that Carter was a total darling about the eyeful. He handled my embarrassment so well.

Ten out of ten, I recommend accidentally flashing two of a kind to a man who’s a perfect gentleman.

But a party where I’m the newly single and kicked-to-the-curb-by-her-ex-husband guest of honor?

That’s a real look-at-me event. I never threw parties while I was married. I never let loose. I never wore flashy clothes. It’s all so…not me.

While Hazel’s typing—the dots tell me so—I add another text.

Rachel: I probably have more wound-licking to do anyway. I should do it with the lemon cheesecake blueberry bars, some Amelia Stone breakup tunes, and a binge of the new season of F Boys And Girls. I can even bake some butterscotch brownies. Get a good night of sleep for the first time in a while. I haven’t been sleeping great in my new place. Then I’ll take a HIIT class in the morning.

Hazel: First, friends don’t let friends binge-watch bad reality TV alone, so if you choose to do that, I’m coming over with my jammies to join you.

Rachel: Do they have pockets?

---