Page 67 of Cherish

“Nothing,” Hudson answers in a voice I haven’t heard him use since that night in my room when he asked me to stop. To just stop. I didn’t know what he meant then, but I do now, and hearing that same voice come from him brings me right back to that moment. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Jaxon isn’t being an asshole. There’s genuine concern in his tone and in the hand I feel him rest on Hudson’s other shoulder. I get that he doesn’t understand what’s going on here—to him, his brother’s freak-out comes out of nowhere—but I still wish he would just drop it.

“We need to get going.” Hudson smooths a hand down my hair and then gently sets me away from him. “None of you have eaten in too many hours to count, and Macy and Heather need to rest.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m doing better than you right now,” Macy says, getting back up on her feet. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

Hudson shakes his head. “I’m fine,” he repeats as he turns toward the house. And my heart breaks all over again. Because he’s moving like he’s broken, like every single part of him hurts, and I can’t do anything to fix him. I can’t say anything that will make losing her again any better.

I turn to look at our friends, all of whom have worried looks on their faces as they either watch Hudson or studiously don’t watch him. Jaxon drops back a few steps to walk behind his brother, his shoulders braced like he’s ready to catch him if he falls.

The others give him space, except Macy, who walks up on his other side and slides her hand into his. “I’m fine,” he says a third time as he glances down at her.

“Yeah, me too,” she answers. But she doesn’t take her hand away. And he doesn’t let it go.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jaxon whispers to me, but I just shrug. It’s too complicated to explain Hudson’s relationship with Smokey in one or two sentences, and I can’t say any more right now. Not when he’s like this.

“Later,” I whisper back. Then I wrap my arm around Hudson’s waist and hold on tight as we walk toward Arnst and Maroly’s farmhouse.

The sun is still high in the sky, which means they may be out working the fields. But short of wandering their land looking for them—which we may still resort to—the house seems like our best bet.

Especially since the moment we make it around the fields, we see Tiola walking down the old farmhouse steps. She’s got a backpack on her back and a bucket in her hands and several cat umbras trailing along behind her.

She’s looking down, chattering away at them, all the while dropping treats for them to gobble up. It’s not until she’s done feeding them that she finally raises her gaze.

Her eyes lock on Hudson, and her mouth falls open for several seconds. Then she lets out a delighted squeal and runs straight for us.

39

Lost and

Profound

“Hudson!” she yells. “Hudson, Hudson, Hudson!”

Her enthusiasm gets a smile out of him, which I didn’t think was possible right now. He rushes to meet her and drops to his knees so she can hug him.

Which she does with extreme enthusiasm, wrapping her little arms around his neck and squealing like she’s just received the best present of her life. “Mom and Dad said we’d never see you again, but I knew you’d come back! I just knew it!”

“Well, you were right,” he tells her, and his accent is thicker than usual. A surefire sign that he’s feeling extra emotional.

“I knew I would be! Come on, come on, we have to go tell Mom!” She grabs his hands and tries to pull him to his feet.

“Absolutely,” he says. “But can I introduce you to my friends first?”

“Of course!” she squeals, clapping her hands. Then she looks straight at me and says, “I’m Tiola! It’s so nice to meet you!”

I start to tell her that it’s me, Grace. And then my stomach sinks like a boat, nearly pulling me under, too. Hudson and I had wondered if our timeline reset when we left. The arrow of time that impaled me seemed to go through him as well. But Tiola remembers Hudson and not me…which means only my timeline reset.

Why we never considered that before, given I lost my memories and Hudson didn’t, seems foolish now. It makes complete sense. And yet, I kind of want to sit on the ground and bawl like a baby. I’d somehow thought when I got my memories back, it meant my timeline hadn’t reset. But instead, it’s much, much worse.

I finally remember everything that happened in Noromar—all the amazing, wonderful people I met here, too. And no one is going to remember me.

Not this little girl who I went on walks with and baked cookies with and read bedtime stories to.

Caoimhe and Lumi and Tinyati. It’s so strange to think that I care about all of them, that I worry about them and think about them, and they have absolutely no clue who I am. Even Arnst and Maroly, who took us into their home and helped us so much when we were here, won’t recognize me any more than Tiola does.

“I’m Grace,” I tell her, shaking her little purple hand with all the dignity such an encounter deserves.

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