Page 48 of Cherish

“I think you’ve spent your time changing the wrong things around here, Hudson.” Jaxon gives his brother a shrewd look as we start walking back toward Mekhi’s room.

“Oh, I’ll get to that, too,” Hudson answers grimly. “Believe me.”

“What if you don’t have to?” Jaxon asks.

Hudson looks incredulous. “You want me to leave those three creeps on the advisory council? They’ll have us back at war in a few months, if not earlier.”

“No.” Jaxon swallows. “I want you to abdicate—”

“Iamabdicating. I assure you,” he says as he reaches down to take my hand in his and squeeze. “Just not to Rodney.” Even I know that’s a bad idea, and I have no idea who Rodney is. But if he’s anything like his mother…

Jaxon clears his throat again, then swallows a second time. “Luckily, Rodney isn’t next in line for the throne. I am.”

Hudson and I both stop in our tracks. “I’m sorry?” I ask, because I’m certain that I didn’t hear him correctly. Jaxon has never wanted the throne. Even before, when he thought Hudson was dead, the idea of actually ruling the Vampire Court was anathema to him.

“You know that doesn’t solve anything, right?” Hudson tells him. “You’ll have the same problems with the Dragon Court that I’m having with the Gargoyle Court. The Circle—”

“The Circle can get fucked,” Jaxon snarls.

It’s not the most king-like answer, but I don’t point that out. Partly because he’s trying really hard to do something nice for Hudson and partly because I know exactly how he feels. When I’m dealing with Court business, I want to tell the Circle and the rule makers in this world to get fucked at least once a day.

“That still doesn’t solve the problem,” Hudson says after a few long seconds. “There is no way the Circle will allow you to have that much power—to sit on both thrones.”

“Then I’ll just sit on this one,” he answers.

“Jaxon.” I touch his arm. “That’s a huge sacrifice—”

“What, only one Vega brother is allowed to sacrifice for the other?” he asks, his voice thick with emotion.

Hudson’s gaze turns watchful. “That’s not at all the same, Jaxon.”

“You found love, man. Our whole lives, we never thought a Vega would be able to do that. But you managed it. And then I fucked it up. Just like I’m fucking everything up for Flint. He wants the dragon throne more than anything, and taking it will restore balance to his Court. But he can’t do that with me by his side.”

He clears his throat one more time, runs a frustrated hand over his hair. “Maybe this is how things were always meant to be.”

My heart breaks at the anguish in his tone and at his determination to do his best by his brother, by me, and by Flint. But sacrificing his and Flint’s future so that Hudson and I can have one? That’s not something either of us is willing to let him do.

“I think you forget how long it took Grace and me to getourshit together,” Hudson tells him mildly. “We didn’t start out like this.”

I laugh at just the thought of it. “No, we definitely didn’t.”

“If you take up the vampire crown, you’ll lose any chance you have of finding that same happiness.” Hudson puts a hand on his shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, too, Jaxon.”

He looks away, shakes off Hudson’s hand. “You don’t know… Flint and I are a fucking mess, bro.”

“Everyone’s a mess,” I tell him. “That’s just how most relationships are.”

“Yeah, well.” Jaxon shrugs. “At some point, relationships are supposed to make things better for the people involved, aren’t they? All being with me has done is made things worse for Flint.”

“This isn’t a sacrifice you need to make,” I tell him. “We’ll find another way.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“Exactly,” Hudson says, wrapping an arm around his brother’s shoulders in a one-sided hug. “And until you do—until we all do—no one is making any drastic decisions.”

“Not even you?” Jaxon asks, brows raised.

I lean forward, as interested to hear his answer to that question as Jaxon is.

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