Page 47 of Absolution

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Connor had barely been able to restrain her from barreling over here when she found out you were sick. It was the only thing I could think of to keep her away. I told her you had the flu, and as soon as you felt like yourself, you’d call her.”

“Thank you for doing that. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy keeping people away.”

“So many people care about you.”

“I know. It’s humbling actually.” I paused for a moment. “I’m going to have to start going back to meetings.”

“Let’s just take things day by day and as they come. Why don’t you start with Bridget and we’ll work our way from there.”

There was that word ‘we’ again. I was really starting to like it. A little too much in fact. Like he’d promised, Leo had been by my side the whole time. He’d been gentle and caring and made sure all my needs were met. I headed out to the kitchen, and with a deep breath of courage, I dialed the number.

“Hey, it’s Gina.”

“You okay, babe? Leo told me you’d been sick. I hope you’re feeling better.”

“I am. But that wasn’t what was wrong with me.”

“What do you mean?”

Over the phone probably wasn’t the best way to do this, but I still wasn’t feeling a hundred percent. I was also taking the coward’s way out.

“I’m a recovering drug addict, and nearly three weeks ago I relapsed after being clean for six years. For the last week, Leo has been here helping me through detox. All the times recently when I fucked up at work, by coming in late or screwing up inventory, my irrational and out of character behavior with customers was because of the pills. I know a simple apology won’t make things right, won’t make amends, but I wanted you to know the truth. I wanted you to know how sorry I am.”

The silence was tense and heavy while I waited from Bridget to respond. I’d taken the first step, but that was all I could control.

“Wow, I don’t even know what to say. I guess the first thing is, are you okay?”

“Not really, but I will be.”

“Can I do anything? Get you anything?”

“I don’t have any right to ask, but I hope this hasn’t destroyed our friendship.”

“Oh my god, Gina, never. You’re one of my best friends. I’m sorry you didn’t think you could come to me when you were struggling.”

“I didn’t want any of you to know how bad things were. I thought I could beat it on my own.”

“I know, but it makes me feel like a shitty friend.”

“Oh my god, Bridget, you’ve been the best friend. None of this has any reflection on you or your friendship. My addiction and using again is all on me. On my inability to get the help I needed before it was too late. I could feel it coming, and I chose to ignore the signs. I chose to stop going to meetings. To stop speaking to my sponsor. I’m the one who has to take full responsibility for my actions. No one can control my choices but me. If you’ll let me, I want to make amends. It may take time for you to trust me again, but it’s all part of the process.”

“Of course. When you’re feeling better, why don’t we meet for coffee. You call me and I’ll be there. If you need to talk, call me. Need to go to a meeting? Call me. I love you, Gina.”

I choked out a sob. “I love you too. Thank you for being my friend. For not hating me. It would have devastated me to lose your friendship, but I would have accepted it if that’s what you’d chosen. So, thank you.”

We spoke for a few more minutes, and after I hung up, I burst into tears of relief. Warm arms enveloped me, and I burrowed against Leo’s chest. I cried for everything I had and for everything I could have lost. Once I was all cried out, I pulled back and gazed up him.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” I whispered.

Leo cupped my jaw, his thumb dusting my cheek. “Me too.”

Chapter 29

Leo

I knewhow hard it must have been for Gina to make that phone call. To open herself up to rejection and possibly lose a friendship over her addiction and subsequent relapse, but she’d done it. I was proud of her, especially because I knew it wasn’t going to get any easier.

“Now that that’s been taken care of, it’s time to call Sonia.”

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