Page 39 of Absolution

He stopped directly in front of me, so close I could almost make out the silver ring around his bright blue eyes.

“I thought you were done with this shit,mia cara?” Jacob’s voice was soft and low.

My eyes squeezed shut at the endearment and the emotion behind it. My breath hitched in my chest when he palmed my jaw. I opened them again to stare up at him and breathed out the air I’d been holding.

“You know addicts are never done. Not really. Every day we stand at the edge of the cliff.” I gave a self-deprecating shrug.

“I don’t think you really want this, Gina. You’re stronger than that.”

If only Jacob were right.

I laid my hand over his. “You always were good to me.”

His eyes bore into mine. “We were good together, you and me. Don’t you think?”

I briefly leaned into his touch but didn’t respond. Jacob had been what I’d needed at the time, and maybe we could have made something more happen, but eventually it would have crumbled for so many reasons.

“You know, if I were capable of loving anyone, it would be you.”

I nodded, because I believed him.

“Same here.”

If I could have loved another man, it would probably be Jacob.

“You know if you ever need anything, I’m here for you. I don’t just mean”— he paused almost unsure of how to say it—“our business transactions. I mean anything, I want you to know you can call me.”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and nodded. There wasn’t anything anyone could do. “Thank you, Jacob.”

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of my nose. Pierce chose that moment to return. I pulled away and took two steps back, not comfortable with appearing this vulnerable in front of anyone else. A small baggie was passed between the two men. The larger of the two men attempted to make himself inconspicuous again in the darkened corner.

Jacob held his palm out, and the plastic bag lay front and center between us. There was only the briefest hesitation before I sealed my fate.

“I’ll see you around.”

He offered me a small but sad smile in return. “I hope not.”

The walls suddenly started closing in on me, so I spun and made a quick exit down the darkened hallway and out the front door. With hurried steps, I put distance between me and the house. Eventually my steps slowed. I reached into my pocket and with shaking hands loosened the knotted plastic. It took forever, but finally I got it undone, and pulled out two white, rectangular shaped pills. I tossed them back, not even caring I didn’t have water to wash them down.

The closer I got to home, the less anxious I felt. A calm, euphoric sensation was coasting over me. I missed this feeling. By the time I stepped through my front door, I was so relaxed, my body seemed to be floating on a cloud. A quick glance confirmed Leo still slept.

Gideon had finally broken me. Hating myself even more, I disappeared behind my bedroom door.

Once I’d slipped out of my clothes, I grabbed another pill and swallowed it down, this time chasing it with water. I snuggled under my covers, instantly forgetting all my problems, ignoring the fact that they’d just show up again tomorrow.

Chapter 24

Leo

Ever since Gideon’sphone call a week ago, Gina had changed. She was suddenly sleeping more, eating less, and much more irritable. We’d gotten into several arguments over petty things. I’d repeatedly asked her to talk to me, but every time, she shut me down.

A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was well after eight. Usually she was up and getting reading for work by now, but I still hadn’t heard her moving around in her room. I knocked on the door, but she didn’t respond. I knocked again and, bracing myself for her anger, slowly pushed it open. It was completely dark in there, and I could barely make out the lump in the bed.

“Gina, you need to wake up. You’re going to be late for work.”Again.

She didn’t move. I walked across the room and gently shook her. She groaned and rolled away.

“Gina.”

---