Page 27 of Absolution

Madeline leaned up in her chair. “You’ve held the actions of another against him all these years. I know you blame him for all the bad things that happened to you in your life, but he was also just a kid, your best friend. Do you honestly think he would have left you if he would have known the consequences?”

I sank back into my chair with a sigh. If I answered her question truthfully, then I was going to have to get rid of all this rage inside me. If I let go of the one thing that had kept me going all this time, what else did I have? Nothing but a broken heart.

“What do I do now?”

“You forgive him.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

Madeline sat back and smiled sadly at me. “Then you’ll never move on with your life. You’ll never heal. You’re going to be stuck in the endless cycle of hate, fear, and loneliness. You’re going to continue to keep yourself closed off from love.”

Love. The one thing I’d always craved.

Chapter 18

Leo

I hadn’t battedan eye when Gina told me about her appointment today. I’d seen a shrink when I’d first come back to the States to help with my transition back to civilian life, and as reluctant as I’d been to go, it really had helped. So, I could understand why Gina would need to see one, considering what she was going through.

The door opened, and I stood when she stepped out. Immediately, I saw she’d been crying.

“You ready?” I asked gently.

“Yeah.”

We walked down to the parking garage, and I remained alert to danger until I was behind the wheel and we were on the road.

“You okay?” I asked when her gaze remained unfocused out the window.

“Hmmmm? Oh, yeah, I’m just thinking.”

“I know you probably don’t, but want to talk? Sometimes it’s good to have a different perspective on things. I know it always helps me.”

Gina glanced over at me and then away again. I’d almost given up hope when she spoke, her words barely above a whisper.

“I loved you, you know.”

I held my breath, not wanting to interrupt her, and praying she’d continue.

“I know you thought it was just a case of puppy love, but it wasn’t. I’d sit up in my room and plan our future. After you turned eighteen and could leave the Waters’ house, you were still going to visit me every day. You’d walk me to school. You’d take me to homecoming. To prom. We were going to stupidly pose for pictures with you behind me and your arms wrapped around my waist. I’d even planned our wedding. For hours on end I’d practice writing my name different ways in the front of all my notebooks.Mrs. Leonides Marshall. Gina Elizabeth Marshall. Mrs. Gina Marshall.”

She chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile. I could picture her sitting at her desk, her hair tucked behind her ear, and the tip of her tongue poking out between her lips as she doodled in her book. Her laughter died and her voice went flat again.

“Every dream I ever had, and ones I didn’t even know I had, died the minute you walked out that door. It may sound like the over-dramatization of a teenage girl, but I can promise you it wasn’t. I loved you to the very depths of my soul.”

Gina sniffed and hastily wiped away her tears. I didn’t know what to say, because if I were being honest, deep down I’d known the extent of her feelings. How true and real they’d been. And it had scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know how to handle them.

I floundered for something to say when her cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

When she didn’t continue the conversation, I glanced over. Her entire face had leached of color, and she was gripping her phone so tightly I thought she’d crush it. With a quick look in the mirror, I jerked the car onto the shoulder and slammed it in park.

“Is that Gideon?”

“I’m listening.” Gina ignored my question. Instead, her eyes remained unfocused and her whole body trembled.

“Gina, give me the phone,” I reached out and plucked it from her fingers.

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