Page 91 of You, with a View

He tells her, then winks at me. “And I was born at midnight, on the dot.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course you were.”

Theo reaches over to take my hand while Flor works on her computer. She hums, her attention drifting toward us sometimes, other times off into space.

Finally, she says, “Okay. In the interest of transparency, I have plans in a bit, so I can’t give you an intense reading, but I’d love to do a quick session for both of you. You down?”

“How much is this going to cost?” Theo asks.

She spreads her hands in front of her. “I’m doing this for my own curiosity, friend. You can tip if it resonates, but this reading is selfish.”

I lean forward. “Selfish how?”

“The energy between you two is pretty intense. It feels old.”

“Old?” Theo echoes, insulted.

Flor laughs. “Old, like multigenerational. Like lots of forces and people worked to get you together. You’re very, very connected, and that’s rad.”

Theo catches my eye. It’s obvious he’s struggling to believe this, though a faint blush spreads across his cheeks.

But her phrasing tickles my curiosity. I’m determined to leave myself open to her message, whatever it is. When she says multigenerational, does she mean Gram and Paul?

I’m not so high on myself that I presume to know everything about how the world works. It’s true that I don’t know what after death looks like, but Idofeel Gram sometimes, in the stars above me at night. Right now in this room. What if Flor can feel that, too? What if she feels all of the things that had to happen to get us here?

“You go first,” Theo says to me, his fingers lacing tighter through mine.

I turn to Flor, my heart beating heavily. “Okay.”

She shuffles the tarot deck. A card falls out almost immediately, and she picks it up, humming again. As more cards join the first on the table, varying emotions cross over her face like a passing storm.

“Mmm.” She nods, as if someone’s just whispered in her ear. “Got it.”

Theo’s gaze is hot on my cheek, but I focus on Flor. There’s an energy building between us, a vibration in my chest. Fingertips against my neck.

Her eyes meet mine, and it’s like a lightning strike into the center of me. “It’s been a lot, huh?”

My throat tightens so quickly I can only let out a choked noise. Beside me, Theo angles his body toward mine, his knee pressing up against my leg.

“You’ve had these massive expectations for a very long time, and they haven’t been met. It’s worn you down to the point that you swung the pendulum all the way to the other side. You went from all the expectations to none.” Flor looks down at the cards, tapping one, and I lean in. The card is a beautiful swirl of green, white, black, and yellow, with a skeleton that hangs over the wordDEATH. My heart drops. “You had guidance, though, someone in your life who showed up for you when you couldn’t show up for yourself, and that kept you afloat in a space that wouldn’t have been sustainable otherwise.”

I nod, barely, playing with Theo’s fingers anxiously.

Flor leans forward. “That guidance isn’t with you anymore, right?”

“Right,” I whisper as goosebumps bloom on my skin. That’s not a coincidence, it can’t be. “It was my grandma. She died six months ago.”

“Yeah, so, most times the death card means transformation,but sometimes it can mean earthly death,” she says. “In your case, and especially with the other cards I pulled, I think it’s both. Your grandma’s death cracked your world down the middle. It put you in the shadows that were lurking around the corner anyway. A soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic and can serve a very specific need in your life. You can have one your whole life or many.” At this, her eyes flicker to Theo, like she’s making sure he’s listening, before landing back on me. “She was one of yours. She was rooted in every aspect of your life, so when she died, those roots pulled up and left everything a fucking mess. I don’t blame you for retreating, friend. It’s heavy.”

I brush at my suddenly wet cheeks, flushing with embarrassment.

“Maybe—” Theo starts to say, but I shake my head, my eyes locked with Flor’s.

“Keep going.”

“Here’s where it gets a little magical,” Flor says with a wink. “Like I said, the death card also means transformation, and I pulled the wheel of fortune card, too. You’re in the middle of all this. It’s an intense time of change for you. Everything feels upside down, but that’s just your perspective shifting. You’re seeing glimpses of the way things could be, aren’t you?”

It comes in snapshots: The beginning of this trip to now, my camera in my hands, Gram’s letters. Paul and his cardigans, his kind smile and even kinder words. Theo and his X-ray eyes. The moments I’ve captured on film and video. That email from the Tahoe resort. Home. Theo’s house and the spaces I could fill—his kitchen for dinner, his bed some nights.

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