Page 82 of You, with a View

He brings me closer, wrapping me up in his arms and dropping a kiss on my head. “You destroyed me, Shepard. I’m just not ready to sleep yet.”

There’s a tenderness in his voice that pushes straight into my heart. I tilt my head back, searching for it in his eyes. It’s there. He’s not even trying to hide it.

“Me neither,” I murmur. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

His response is immediate and accompanied by a smirk. “Or something. But a movie’s good in the meantime.” I huff out a laugh, and he rolls on top of me, biting gently at my neck. “We gonna fight over who gets to pick it?”

“Always,” I say.

He freezes and then I do, realizing how that sounds. Like we have an infinite number of these days, when in reality we have a handful and then it’s done.

His mouth parts, like he’s going to say something, but instead after a beat, he grazes his lips over mine. He takes it deep within seconds, tangling his fingers in my hair.

Whatever he was thinking of saying, I’m glad he stopped. I don’t have the right words, either.

Twenty-Three

We get to our Airbnb in Page, Arizona, Monday afternoon. It’s an adorable boxy white stucco house, standing out starkly against the desert landscape. I release a happy breath, glad to be out of a hotel room and back in a place that feels like a home. We’ll be in an Airbnb in Sedona, too.

“How many bedrooms this time, Shep?” Theo asks as I pull the van into the driveway edged with red rock gravel.

Unimpressed, I reply, “Three.”

I checked after the Zion snafu. And once Theo and I started sleeping together, checked again.

He tosses me a wink that I catch in the air and pretend to flick out the window, but that only amuses him further, his dimple carving deep into his cheek. Behind us, Paul chuckles. We’ve kept things normal around him, but I can’t help but think he’s playing chicken with us. Theo told me earlier that he suspected Paul was awake when he snuck back into their hotel room this morning.

The thought of what we did last night—the sex, and the movie after it—has my body and heart pulsing in tandem.

Pushing that thought aside for now, I thread my arm through Paul’s as we walk inside. The house is gorgeous and a bit of a splurge; it has soft white walls and wood-beam ceilings, with windows all along the back of the house that look out onto a wide patio and, beyond that, a valley surrounded by majestic red and pink buttes. The sunsets must be unreal.

“Don’t worry, I got the bags.” Theo’s dry statement from the front door is punctuated by two thumps.

“Awesome!” I call back, grinning over at Paul, who laughs and pats my hand.

We explore the rest of the house together while Theo goes to the grocery store to grab food for dinner.

The backyard extends well past the patio, and we spend some time poking around back there, attempting to identify all the different plants, which sends Paul into a fifteen-minute monologue about the plants he’s got his eye on for his own backyard. His excitement is so adorable that I could listen to him all night, but eventually we head inside. I insist that Paul take the master bedroom, mainly because he’s Paul. Even though he and Theo have been happily sharing a room this whole trip, I want him to be comfortable.

But it doesn’t hurt that the remaining bedrooms are on the other side of the house.

“Oh, I couldn’t take this,” he says, his eyes roaming around the large room, which also has an en suite bathroom.

“Of course you can, and you will. You’re the guest of honor on this trip.”

He turns to me, pulling me tight against his side. “No, sweetheart, that’s you. It’s been years since Theo and I have traveled together, and you made it happen. I owe you the world for letting me have this time with him.” He smiles. “And with you.”

I have nothing to say that won’t end in me ugly crying, so I pull him into a proper hug instead.

The front door opens and closes, but it’s been too long since I’ve had a hug like this—still strong but softened with age, with a whiff of old-school cologne—so I don’t step out of Paul’s embrace, even when Theo’s footsteps stop in the doorway.

“Is she okay?”

When I pull back, I see the stricken look on his face. It wipes clean when he sees that I’m, in fact, just fine.

“Just having a tender moment.” I nudge Paul gently, my chest aching from that hug and Theo’s concern. “What’d you get us at the store?”

Theo’s gaze lingers on me, then Paul, and I swear longing flashes in his eyes. But he blinks and it’s gone. “I picked up steak and vegetables. We can grill it all together.”

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