Page 46 of You, with a View

Like that, he puts us on equal ground. I bite back a triumphant grin as my hands release his shirt and move to his forearms. His tendons dance under my palms as he flexes his fingers into my thighs, but he doesn’t move otherwise. Why won’t hekissm—

There’s a soft knock at the door. A rustle. Footsteps, and the sound of the door next to mine opening.

Paul. He told me he’d let me know when he dropped off my water and medicine, along with chocolate he promised would be more healing than Advil.

Paul, the grandfather of the man I’m about to kiss. Paul, who’s pausing his life to accompany me on this road trip, telling me the secrets Gram either never got to or never intended to spill.

Paul, who clearly wants Theo and I to be a real thing.

My chest goes tight. I cannot mess this up, and getting tangled with Theo would.

“Hold on,” I wheeze out, letting go.

Theo steps back immediately, and the sudden absence of his touch nearly makes me cry. It would’ve been a mistake, but it would’ve been a mistake that felt really fucking good.

I keep my eyes firmly on his face. He’s hard and the material of his pants is thin and I truly can’t handle any details. “We shouldn’t do this.”

He doesn’t answer right away. His pulse thrums in his throat, below his impossibly tight jaw. “Okay.”

“I want to,” I say, in an attempt to reassure him.

One corner of his mouth pulls up as he rubs a hand up and down his cheek, then across his jaw. “I know.”

“But Paul,” I say, ignoring his smug tone. “I mean, you can see he’s trying to play matchmaker, right?”

Theo lets out a breath, his expression softening. “Yeah, I can.”

I run my hands over my thighs. Trying to erase his touch or preserve it, I’m not sure which. “We’re attracted to each other, but that’s all it is. It’s not like we’d ever have something for real.”

Not if he knew what state my life is in, anyway. I’m not too proud to admit that I’ve googled his past girlfriends. They’re all beautiful, with accomplishments pages long. One woman worked for NASA, for god’s sake. Maybe I’d be a fun distraction for him, a way to work out his stress while he’s away, but then what?

More distressingly, I feel myself softening toward him, and it’s only been a day. If I tangle those emotions with a hookup, it could get messy.

I don’t need more messes in my life.

“Right,” Theo says, interrupting my spiral.

His face is wiped clean of emotion. He grabs a Neosporin packet and Q-tip, applies a generous amount of goop onto it, then spreads it over my cut. My throat goes tight at the gentle touch.

“I don’t want to upset Paul,” I say, watching his careful work. The burn is gone, just an ache now. “I—I care about his friendship, and I don’t want to risk his place in my life if things blow up between us.”

His gaze meets mine briefly. “I get it, Shepard. The risk isn’t worth the reward. My granddad already cares about you, and he’s invested in all of this. I’m not going to mess that up for either of you.”

Theo prepares several bandages, then presses them onto my knee. His movements are efficient now, not hungry, not lingering or rough, and I mourn the loss of it even though it’s necessary.

When he’s done, he helps me down, stepping away before our bodies can connect.

I lean against the counter. “Can we extend the truce to ‘can look but don’t touch’?”

His eyebrows raise. “You want to look, huh?”

“Nothing wrong with a little window shopping,” I say. “Now that we’ve admitted we’re attracted to each other, I mean.”

Theo huffs out a tight breath. “Fine. I’m going to go check on my granddad, so I’ll give you the opportunity to stare at my ass again.”

“Again?”

“I felt you looking when I walked in.”

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