Page 65 of One Lovely Lie

I don’t bother saying anything because it doesn’t matter anymore. I just want to keep looking at Daniel. That’s all I want. I’m being dragged away from him and all I want to do is cry so—yeah—maybe I am a dick-whipped fool.

We find our seats that are, of course, at the very center of the room. The food is served and I assume it’s supposed to be lovely and refined, but it just tastes like cardboard to me. My father lavishes my mother with white wine after white wine, while limiting me to a single scotch.

That’s probably for the best. Who knows what I would do if I were plastered.

Daniel’s mother hops on the stage at the very front of the room, her brilliant green dress sparkling under the lights. She has a warm smile on her face as she takes the microphone, bringing it to her lips as she fiddles with the pearls around her neck.

“Thank you all for coming,” she says ever so diplomatically. “It means the world to this family that all of you have come out to support us today. I am overjoyed to announce that we’re here to celebrate my son, Daniel’s engagement to the lovely Florence Duboit.”

I spit out the scotch I was drinking and gasp. Fuck me. To my absolute fucking horror, I’m at Daniel’s engagement party.

I’m here fuckingcelebratinghis sham of a union to some dimwitted French aristocrat. I ate the food that was meant as a meal for the soon-to-be newlyweds. It was one thing for Daniel to be here right where I could see him, but to know that I’m about to witness this moment in his life…

I want the earth to swallow me whole.

I don’t know if it’s intuition, if my choking scene did it, or if it’s just pure fucking luck, but he turns. He turns and looks right at me, and I wish that he hadn’t.

He looks so fuckingsad. He’s not looking at me with anger, or regret, or disdain. No, he’s looking at me like a lover. He’s looking at me like I hung the moon and the stars. He’s looking at me like there’s nothing else he’d rather look at. How do I know? Because I’m pretty fucking sure I’m looking at him the same way.

Sylvia keeps droning on in the background, but neither Daniel nor I pay attention.

Suddenly, all those reasons I made up to justify us not being together fade away. All the memories of us together replace that insanity, and I realize something.

I don’t care if I’m not good enough for him. I don’t care if the right thing is to walk away. I don’t care that I’ll probably end up fucking this up.I wanthim. I can’t let him go through with this. I can’t let him marry someone he doesn’t even know. I can’t let him live his life thinking I never truly loved him.

I take a deep breath because I know what I need to do. I was a coward once, but I won’t be a coward now. I turn to my father who’s looking at me quizzically and, for some reason, I smile. A sense of calm and acceptance that I’ve never felt before washes over me. This was a long time coming, but now that it’s here, I’m not as terrified as I thought I would be.

“Father,” I begin, reaching for his arm. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asks dismissively, laughing at something Sylvia says. His laughter dies down as he looks at my hand and wrinkles his lips in distaste. “What is it now, Magnus?”

“I’m sorry I could never be enough for you and I’m sorry you could never love me,” I admit, gulping when he furrows his brow in confusion but doesn’t refute anything I’m saying. “But there’s someone out there who does love and who does need me, and he’s about to marry someone else.”

His face turns red. “Whatever you’re thinking about—”

“I don’t want your money,” I say calmly with a shrug. “I don’t want anything from you. All I want is Daniel.”

“Thinkverycarefully about this,” he hisses under his breath. “If you get up right now, that’s it.”

What a permanent statement. If I stand up and go along with my plan, I’ll get disowned. It should be a shock to my system but it’s almost a relief. The burdens I carried all these years and the idea that maybe one day my father could love me just don’t seem to matter anymore.

“Goodbye, Father,” I say quietly, and then I stand up.

I don’t even think, I just move. I get wary looks as I part through the crowded tables and I elicit a few gasps when I jump on stage. Without thinking, without preamble, without just about fuckinganything, I start yelling.

“I’m not going to Germany!”

The crowd freezes, and Daniel’s mother looks so close to murdering me. She bites down on her bottom lip angrily before putting her show face back on and clapping in my direction. “Magnus Black, everybody! Always the jokester!”

“Daniel,” I continue, ignoring her and seeking him out in the audience. The lights make it difficult but not impossible. “Baby, I’m walking away.”

Daniel’s mother approaches me and hisses under her breath. “Maybe this is best left for another time—”

“Give me the damn microphone,” I snap, yanking it out of her hands because I’m here, I’m ready, and I’m going to get my man back. “Daniel, I know I hurt you, but I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I love you so much, and I can’t stand being away from you.”

There’s still silence from him. He looks absolutely horrified that I’m up here, causing a scene, airing our dirty laundry, but he doesn’t know how desperate I am for him.

I’m all in. I’m all in with him. I’m all in with my own future. I’m not backing down and I won’t lose him without a fight.

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