Page 46 of One Lovely Lie

It hits me like a freight train and physically takes my breath away. It’s like all the memories of us together since birth converge like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Before, they’ve always been there—beautiful and vibrant—but they’ve been disjointed. Love was among the scattered images but now I can see the perfect pretty picture in its entirety.

I’m in love with my best friend and I’ve never been fucking happier.

Thaxton doesn’t sense this revelation and stares me dead in the eyes. “Love? Magnus, you wouldn’t know the first thing about love if it shoved its dick up your ass. I don’t believe it.”

He tries to come closer to me and I jump back. “I’m taken, Thaxton. I mean it.”

“No, like I legitimately don’t believe it,” he snaps back. “Give it a month or two and the telltale markers of your commitment-phobia-induced anxiety will have you running in the opposite direction.”

I swallow hard because, to a certain extent, I do have that. I’ve always had a natural repulsion to anything serious and committed. The anxiety he’s talking about is a real thing. It’s like when anyone tries to get too close, the world closes in on me until I can’t breathe and I can’t see and I can’t think.

But Daniel’s always been the exception.

“I’dneverdo that to him,” I say adamantly, becoming irritated the more and more amused Thaxton gets. “Stop it.”

“It’s not your fault that you’re not a commitment kind of guy, Mag,” he says condescendingly, and the use of my nickname leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

“You don’t know me,” I spit, gritting my teeth as I tighten my grip on the soccer ball so I don’t strangle him.

“You’ve beeninside of me, Magnus. I pay attention.” Once he gets that I’m not budging and that I’m so far from wanting to fuck him it’s ridiculous, he waves me away with a grunt. “Fine. Whatever. If you’re giving this the good old-fashioned college try, good luck.”

And he leaves just like that. He touched my dick, he fucked with my head, and now he’s gone. I stew the whole walk back to my dorm. He has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. Sure, in the past I’ve been known to bail, but this is different. None of those guys or girls trulymeantanything to me. They were nice, we had a great time, but that’s all I wanted it to be. I didn’t want to put any effort into making something last.

But now, I want to put all the effort in with Daniel. I want to make it last forever.

Thaxton can go fuck himself. I’m the best boyfriend ever.

Despite talking myself out of the funk he put me in, I still feel the need to vent to someone. I would call Daniel and tell him all about it, but that doesn’t seem like the smartest idea. It’s not that I’m going to keep this a secret from him, but I don’t want him worrying about Thaxton.

I shove the door to my dorm open and Carter flings himself off the bed. It takes him a second to recognize that it’s me and, when he does, he curses.

“Woah, what’s wrong with you?”

I spot the textbooks piled on his bed and the open notebooks next to them. “Are you seriously studying? It’s break, Carter. Have some fucking fun for once.”

He takes a step back and his eyebrows go all the way up to his hairline. “Excuse me? Let’s try that again. Hey, Magnus, what’s wrong with you?”

I sigh heavily, plopping down on my bed with a groan. “I’m…”

Daniel and I promised we weren’t going to tell anybody. We wanted it to be just us for a little bit longer but I don’t know. Maybe telling Carter about what happened with Thaxton will make me feel better. Maybe talking it out with someone other than myself makes some kind of sense.

“You’re…?

I quickly jerk upright and hold my fist out to Carter. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Absolutely, man,” he says, giving me the sacred fist bump back. He looks concerned as he pulls his hand away and closes his textbooks. “What’s got you like this?”

Deep breath.“We’re together.”One more. “Daniel and I.”

“Um, yeah,” he snorts as if it’s obvious. “We all saw you making out at the rave.”

“No, like we’retogethertogether. Dating. Monogamous. Happy couple and all that shit.”

Carter’s jaw hangs slack. I think for a second that he might not have heard me or that he’s messing with me. It takes him a second to get all his faculties together and when he does, he looks incredulous. “Really?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “What’s that look for?”

“You’re like boyfriends?”

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