Page 13 of Judge and Jury

Sex was fine. It was needed and I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t just sex I wanted with Taylor. Although that was going to be an added bonus. I wanted her for my own. A little slither of sweetness to light up my dark life.

And I would snuff her out.

I knew that as well. The light I saw in her, the very thing that attracted me to her, would stand no chance against my darkness. She would love me; I would make sure of it. Completely and utterly, and it would destroy the very thing in her that I needed. Loving me was a lifelong jail sentence.

I didn’t want to dim the light I saw in Taylor. Her pure, romantic soul was her essence. My soul was black and burned beyond description. I wasn’t even sure I was a man anymore. I sure as hell didn’t do the things normal men with consciences did. But I couldn’t let her go either. I needed to follow the plan. Whether I needed to silence her as a juror or not didn’t really matter anymore. I wanted her.

I wasn’t a man who could love. I knew that. I didn’t have those kinds of feelings, but I wanted to possess her, and I would. Even if it made her into something I no longer had a need for. I would use her, ride her hard until there was nothing left of her.

Did I want to? No.

I wanted to be a better man than that. I wanted to change and find what Gio had found with Keeley. But I wasn’t Gio. I was the Judge. Gio had given his heart away the moment he had seen Keeley. I didn’t have a heart to give. Not that Taylor would realise that until it was too late. The very fact she was here and asleep in my bed told me that. Too trusting. I was going to hurt her.

“Judge?” Her sleepy voice broke the silence that wrapped around us.

“Christian,” I answered without thinking.

“What?”

“My name is Christian. You should call me that and not The Judge.” I wanted at least one person in my life to call me by my name, to remember me as Christian and not the killer my past had made me become. And there it was. The real reason I wanted her for myself. Because I wanted someone to see me as Christian and not just the judge, jury and executioner for The Family. “I think.” I muttered.

“Ok.” She sounded unsure of herself. “Ok.”

She wanted to say something else but was worried about how I would take it. “You should sleep.” It wasn’t light yet, and I knew she must be suffering with the aftermath of too much alcohol.

“What time is it?”

“Not quite five.”

She sighed, stretching. The movement pressed her barely covered ass into my crotch, and I bit back a groan of pure longing.

“I should get up.”

“Why not just sleep?” I hadn't had a wink of sleep yet and I wasn’t tired, but I wanted her to sleep so I could sort through my own jumbled thoughts. Her talking to me wasn’t going to help make things clearer, and the feel of her ass against me sure as hell wasn't helping either.

“You said we needed to talk, and I have work at ten, so I–”

Cutting her off, I tightened my grip on her. “No, you don’t.”

Taylor stiffened. “What?”

“You don’t have work today.” My hands moved of their own volition, sliding the soft material of my tee up so I could run my fingers over her hips. “You’re on jury duty, remember?”

“But–”

“No buts.” In the darkness, I rolled my eyes at her. “Go back to sleep.”

“I'm awake now, and you said you wanted to talk, so we might as well do that now so I can go home.”

Stifling a groan, I gripped her hips. My fingers were almost bruisingly hard. “One thing you should know about me, Taylor, is that I expect to be obeyed.”

“Obeyed?” She giggled. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” I snapped back. The sooner she realised I wasn’t joking, the better “So go back to sleep and stop talking to me. It's too early. We will talk when we have breakfast.”

“Christian. I am not staying for breakfast. I shouldn’t even be in your bed, and you definitely shouldn't be–”

My fingers slid over the hem of her panties. Teasing underneath, but going no further. “I shouldn’t be what?” I asked, but I knew what she meant. She thought I shouldn't be touching her, that she was her own person. She hadn't realised that she was mine yet.

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