I know it’s the worst cliché she could ever hear, but clichés are clichés for a reason. They work for almost everyone. And it’s true. There are no other ways to describe it.
I almost tell her the truth about how this all started, about wanting to impress Anderson and only thinking about that deal, but she interrupts my train of thought, and it’s gone. I don’t want to go back to it now. I know I keep putting it away, but I don’t want to cause her any pain, not even discomfort.
After all, this doesn’t matter anymore. Only two things matter and those are she and the baby.
"I am glad," she says as she places her hand on mine. "I don't want you to ever regret any of this."
"I won't," I promise.
"Thank you," she whispers as she leans in and kisses me gently.
Afterward, she sits back on the couch next to me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. Suddenly, I feel Anthony kick and I pull away, looking at Riley's tummy. She takes my hand and places it on the spot where Anthony kicks. I press my finger against her skin and feel the movement inside of her. She smiles at me and then leans back, placing her hands on top of mine.
"This is amazing," I say. "How did I not know this was possible?"
"You didn't know it was possible?" she asks.
I shake my head. "I never thought about it. I guess I never really considered the possibility of being a father."
"Well, you are now," she says firmly. "And if you feel the way I do, you can't imagine life without him now."
"I wouldn't even know what to do with myself if he wasn't with us anymore," I confess. The reality of that confession catches me off guard. I never thought this was possible. Not for me. And yet, here we are.
She smiles and kisses me. "Me either."
I kiss her again and again, letting the happiness settle into my soul. It is something I have never experienced before.
"Harrison, will you do me a favor?" She asks when we pull apart.
"Of course," I reply, "Whatever you want."
"I want you to meet the midwife I have chosen."
The realization that she isn't going to give up on the subject hits me and I don't know how to respond without upsetting her.
"Are you sure you want a home birth? So many things could go wrong. I worry about you and Anthony." Maybe this is the right strategy to convince her that a hospital would be a better choice.
"A midwife is a trained professional. She will know what to do if a problem arises."
"Okay," I say, a little unsure about the whole idea.
"I don't want you to worry about this part of the process. Just trust me. I have done my research and I know she is the best. She is going to take care of everything. All you need to do is show up and let her take over."
Her tone is confident and reassuring but it does little to ease my worries about the situation.
"If you're sure," I say hesitantly, still not convinced.
"I am. I want our son to be born at home, not in a cold hospital."
"Then will you interview the nannies with me?" I ask, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to bring it up.
"What?" She asks in surprise. I can see the hurt look in her eyes, which I didn’t want to cause.
"Well, I don't know that we need to hire one right away," I explain. "But if you want to go back to work eventually, it would be good to have one and it's best to hire one before the baby is born. It gives you both time to get to know each other and she is able to be a part of Anthony's life from the very beginning."
She thinks about it for a few moments. I give her as much time as she needs, because this is important. I don’t want her to feel as if she’s being pushed into this.
Eventually, she nods. "Alright. I can do that."