Page 15 of Interning For A Billionaire

Then I started to get ready for the evening.

My disguise was not a complicated one, but I needed for it to be convincing for my act to work. That meant it couldn’t be slap-dash. I knew people would eventually find out it was me behind the fake moustache and the costume, but it had to happen at the right moment.

At around six o’clock, I made my way to the club, checking out the entrance for co-workers. I didn’t want to be seen. I made my way over and snuck in. Inside, it was dark, and music was playing loudly. I could see several staff members had already had a couple of drinks and were quite loud and rowdy. I kept to the back, finding a chair, and staying out of sight. My disguise worked well, everyone was ignoring me, and nobody wanted to speak to me. I started walking around, listening to people’s conversations.

A few had dressed up in costumes, like gorilla masks and there were some bright wigs and confusing hats. But mostly, people hadn’t bothered. Alcohol was flowing freely, and I knew everyone was probably going to get roaring drunk. But I’d told Josie it was all right; our budget would not be capped for the evening.

The program started at seven o’clock. I was surprised to see how many people signed up for the comedy routine. They went on stage, made a few jokes and left. Some had slightly longer routines and had clearly had experience on stage before.

One of our best developers, a nerdy guy called Daniel Silver, had the best routine in my opinion. He came on stage and said, “The first thing most people ask me, is how old I am.”

Everyone laughed, because Daniel was very youthful looking. He was short with a slender physique. “They think I’m a teenager, some kind of kid. I don’t mind, though, because if people think you’re a genius, you can come in late and forget to do stuff, because you know, you’re a genius!” Everyone laughed again. “There is just one thing that does work against me…. I struggle to convince the women to go out with me, because all of them think I’m still going through puberty when in fact, I’m all man!” He did an exaggerated muscle show, flexing his arms in an imitation bodybuilder pose and everyone laughed and clapped their hands.

“He’s funny!” I heard someone close to me say. “I know,” another female voice next to her said. “That makes me want to date him!”

“I know, right!” They both started laughing.

The comedy night was a big success, and the more everyone drank, the harder they clapped and laughed. Even the acts that weren’t successful managed to get some cheers for the effort. When I saw Belle come onto the stage, I felt sure she would totally crash, but to my surprise, she wasn’t bad at all. Instead of being nervous and fidgety as I thought she would be, she came across as confident and self-assured.

“Most of you don’t know me,” she started. “I’m Belle and I’m an intern at HR, responsible for putting tonight together. So, if we run out of snacks, you know who to complain to!” There was some clapping and cheering for her.

She went on, “Some of you may know that I’m from Kansas. From a very small town, in fact. On my first day here, someone asked if anything ever happened in my hometown and I said, nothing much, just the odd tornado here and there. I told him about the time we had a tornado tear through town and my father, the local doctor, was called out to help some folks who’d been injured. I went with him. We found the church pastor, dressed in a Superman suit, taking shelter with the high school principal under a broken dining room table. She taught me English in senior year.”

Belle paused for effect. “The principal was in her underwear and had some nasty cuts from where she’d been cut by the wood. But it kind of changed my views about Superheroes, you know? At least I got great marks for English after that…”

There was a lot of laughter and applause for Belle, who’d told her story very well, I thought. There was no sign of the anxiety she spoke about her in email. I had to wonder at the slightly naughty nature of her story. Had she spoken to her therapist about it? I didn’t have too much time to wonder about it though, because soon it was my turn.

“Next up, is Bert. Bert, you there?”

I got up and made my way to the front. As I passed people by, I heard mutterings of “Who is Bert?” and “Do we have a Bert in the office?”

I slowly made my way onto the stage, remembering to shuffle and keep my back bowed. I had a big pillow tied to my back under my coat. It was getting to be quite hot and scratchy, and I was glad that I could almost take it off. I reached up to the microphone.

“Hello,” I said, rather formally, clearing my voice loudly and tapping the microphone as if to make sure it was working.

“My name is Bert. I work in the back room with the air conditioners. I don’t think they knew I was on the mailing list, but here I am.”

The room was deathly quiet.

“I’ve worked in the building since before you guys moved in. Back when women had the ponytails and men wore the pants. Now, it’s the other way around.” There was a bit of laughter now. “Back then, the boss wore a suit and carried a briefcase. But this boss, nope, he comes in dressed in short pants and t-shirts. First time I saw him, I thought he was a surfer!” There was more laughter now. “Another time, he comes into my office, said the office was too hot. I should turn up the airco. He said to me, ‘I want the place to be cool, Bert. It has to be a cool place to work…’”.

The faces were all turned to me, waiting to hear the next part of the story. I had to get my comedic timing just right and waited to deliver my next line.

“So… my question to you folks, is… and is it a cool place? A cool place to work… Is it??!” I ripped off my old-guy cap and moustache and took off my coat with the pillow, shedding my old guy costume so everyone could see it was really me.

People started clapping and cheering, once they realized it was really me, pretending to be some geezer called Bart.

I heard calls of, “Good one, Michael!”

“Thanks guys, hope you have a good evening,” I said, with a big grin and walked off stage.

People came up to me to shake my hand and slap my back.

“I thought you were at a meeting,” my PA, Maya said to me, coming to give me a hug. “You were great, really great!”

“You absolutely were,” Josie said, coming up to me dressed in a Cher costume with a wig of long black hair. It suited her. “Well done! You might just be the star of the night!”

I went to the bathroom to wash off the rest of my stage make up. I’d put some concealer on my face for lines and wrinkles and it was making my face itch. When I came out, Belle was waiting for me.

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