I shake my head, refusing to say.

But he’s right, of course.

It was a very good dick pic.

Chapter 4

Michael

It’s early in the morning, the best time to come to the rock-climbing gym.

I want to get on the wall before my head clutters with work. I don’t even have coffee or anything to eat first, I want to feel the pangs of hunger, the rush of blood early in the morning. The gym is still fairly empty, there are a few keen climbers like me, but we avoid eye contact. I get my gear in place and head for one of the more challenging climbs.

My knuckles crack as I grip the first rock. I step onto the next hold. I feel my mind clearing even more as the wall comes into focus. This is what I love about climbing. It makes everything else disappear. It focuses your thinking on the most basic and important drive of all, the need to stay alive.

This means, you must not fall. To ensure that I stay on the wall, I need to keep my attention on my next move, bracing myself when I feel my hand slipping. I inhale deeply, close my eyes, and go again. There is something about the physicality of rock climbing that calms me, it centers me. Brings me back to myself, as the self-help gurus like to say.

The act of propelling myself on, puts strain on my muscles, I can feel the pull in my thighs, grimacing as I displace my weight. I move up the wall,slowly and carefully, keeping my breathing steady. My progress is precise and the higher up I get, the more effortless it becomes.

When I reach the top, it almost comes as a surprise. I was unaware of where I was on the wall, or even of the wall itself, I was aware only of my movements, my hands and feet, the rhythm of climbing.

I rappel down and land on the mat, taking a deep, satisfied breath.

That felt good, really good.

I’m thinking of where to go next when I see a woman walk past me and immediately, I think of Belle. Even though this woman does not look like Belle at all. This woman is shorter, more curvaceous, where Belle is taller, leaner. An image of her breasts slides into my brain, completely uninvited. It is polluting my pure morning state of mind, which is unacceptable!

I shake my head, almost like a dog, trying to get rid of these thoughts.

But now that Belle is in my head, she won’t let go.

I decide on another challenge, a wall with a slightly higher grade. More complicated, more difficult. I need to get my head straight.

I start off at a faster paste, keeping my body relaxed and supple but Belle is still there.

The mail I received from her the previous day.

Oh, my God. I had really looked forward to our next interaction. After sending her that picture of me, I couldn’t wait to see how she’d respond. I was sure she would amp up the volume of our interchange, send me maybe a video of herself, dancing naked. Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that maybe there was an element of wishful thinking in there. But that would have been something. I wanted to see her breasts again, it was true. I’d never really thought of myself as a breasts kind of guy, but hers were somehow very attractive. I wanted to touch them, to kiss them, lick them…. Oh, blast it!

My foot slips and I lose my balance. I feel myself falling and my heart races as I plunge to the ground. I try to hold on to something, anything to stop the fall, but my fingers are slick with sweat, and I can’t get a grip.

In an instant, my world is flipped upside down as I’m falling, falling, falling. I close my eyes, brace for impact but then, to my relief, there is a tug on my harness and I’m swinging back and forth on my rope, still attached to the wall.

I take a deep breath.

Close my eyes.

Calm down.

Then I lower myself to the ground, unclip myself and try to steady my breathing. I can’t believe that happened.

All because of bloody Belle.

I drink some water and exhale.

The email she’d sent me had really thrown me. There could be no denying it. When I’d clicked on the message, it had been in anticipation, even excitement, I was looking for an attachment even as I saw the words in the body of the mail.

Then I started reading it and my heart just fell.