As soon as we got home, Ari made a beeline for a big pillow on the ground.
“He knows that is his spot,” my dad said proudly. “He never even tries to go on the furniture.”
“What do you do with him when you go to work?’
“I take him with me, of course.”
I had to smile. Apparently, one of the joys of being a country doctor was that you could take your dog to work.
“I’m going to go to bed, Dad,” I said, getting up. My father came up with me, to make sure I had everything.
But my room was exactly the same as when I’d been back weeks ago. But it felt like I had not been here in years. I had experienced so much since I’d left home for San Francisco, that being back here was like a reminder of a previous life.
My bedspread and curtains, even the desk where I had studied in high school. Everything was exactly the same. But I wasn’t the same, I knew it. San Francisco had changed me. The job had changed me. And of course, Michael. I couldn’t forget the impact he had made on my life.
I checked my phone, but there were no messages from him.
I couldn’t believe it.
I sat down on my bed, with a crushing sense of despair. I knew Michael well enough to know that I couldn’t change his mind for him. If he was this angry and upset with me, he needed to work through his feelings by himself. I didn’t want to pressure him.
Perhaps I should have told him about Sven bothering me in recent months. But I had tried to put it out of my mind. I’d been so happy; I didn’t want to think about him. Honestly, I’d hoped he’d move the hell on.
But he hadn’t.
There was a message from Samira asking how I was doing.
I was happy to share the good news with her.
When are you coming back? She asked.
This place is BORING without you…
I had to smile.
You think that’s boring…wait till you visit Kansas…
She responded with a row of laughing emojis.
But I was being unfair to my hometown, and I knew it. Deep down, I appreciated the real values I had learnt here, the good relationships I had with friends and family and the understanding of how important decency and humanity was when dealing with others.
This place had shaped me, and it was here where I learned to be me.
Chapter 26
Michael
Life sucks.
What is the point of it all?
Where are my sunglasses?
Why didn’t I pack more protein bars?
This was the gist of my thinking over the next two days. My thoughts circled around these four themes and in the beginning especially, my head was full of different versions on the first theme.
Even though I had piles of money and an impressive company that was doing really innovative things, the rest of my life was a mess. Success was lovely but I needed more to be happy. I needed people, or some people, to clarify. Maybe just one person, come to think of it. I had never been able to get the hang of the whole relationship thing, even with my own family, the bonds were tenuous. I got on with my brother, but barely talked to my father.