Not like Belle, who was giving me a real run here. I could feel my pulse racing as I tried to keep up with her, wondering if she was going to keep this up. I liked the idea of catching up with her, possibly tackling her to the ground and having my way with her right there.
I thought of Polly, my last proper girlfriend, whose idea of exercise was to walk around while shopping. The idea of hiking anywhere for hours on end was abhorrent to her. Some would do yoga or Pilates, occasionally visiting the gym, but Belle was the only one who’d enthusiastically joined a beginner’s belay course, climbing to the top like a pro, while others froze halfway up the climber’s wall, whimpering with anxiety.
Since then, we’d done a few moderate climbs in the gym, and I was looking forward to the day we could tackle a proper cliff face.
I ran through a grove of trees and the path was deserted.
Where was Belle?
“Belle?” I called out and slowed down.
She jumped out from behind a tree and yelled, “Peek-a-boo!” and ran off again. So much energy! Maybe she was fitter than I was. I hadn’t been training as much over the past two weeks, as the deal had been keeping me busy. I knew she went running each day before work.
The developer I was closest to at work, Seth, the other day asked me what was going on.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
He glared at me suspiciously. “Something’s not right. Either aliens have abducted you or you are in love.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I sent you a message last night at eleven. Usually, you respond in seconds. But you haven’t even read it yet!” He seemed really upset and I knew I had to tell him something.
“Okay, you’re right. I have been abducted by aliens…”
He threw his hands into the air, exasperated. “Even that, that joke, I mean, the Michael I know would never have told a lame joke like that.”
He was right though.
I had changed. Being with Belle had changed me. I wondered whether he was right, wheher I was in love. I’d never been in love before, so I couldn’t really compare it to anything. But I was making plans and I was constantly thinking up things we could do, places we could go and trips we could take.
Was that love?
I had to tell Seth something, so I told him that my anti-depressants had kicked in.
“Which ones are you on?” he asked immediately. “I’ve been taking mine for months and it’s not made a difference at all.”
I pretended not to remember the name of my meds.
Now I was not only a sex addict but also depressed and on medication. Old me would have hated the thought that people thought of me in this way, but new me didn’t care one bit.
Not. At. All.
For the first time in my life, I was having fun. I was with someone who liked the things I did, who wanted to do things with me. Belle was gorgeous, as well as funny and bright and very smart. She was, I had to say, as close to the perfect woman as one could come. I did wish she didn’t work for my company, so that I could openly see her whenever I wanted to.
In the beginning, all the sneaking around was a turn-on. I only had to think of the blow job she gave me in the board room one day after work. I’d mentioned to her that it would really make my meetings go by faster if I could focus on a memory of something like that and she obliged me right away. We waited until everyone had left, then we went to the boardroom, locked the door and I sat down at my chair at the top of the table.
She crawled in underneath the table and demanded that I pretend to be in a meeting, talking to an imaginary board or something. She stroked me and caressed me under the table, then she undid my pants and took me in her mouth, and I almost forgot to breathe.
I mean, that memory alone would get me through a lifetime’s worth of meetings.
She was running ahead of me now, slowing down so that I could keep up.
“Are you coming?” she called to me, taunting me.
“Wait!” I suddenly called out, stopping abruptly. I winced and bent down, pulling faces and saying, “Ouch, ouch!” and grabbing hold of my knee like I’d hurt it or something.
“You okay?” she called out but I hobbled to the side of the road, rubbing my leg. She came closer.