Elise said, “She was dead serious. You could hear it. He just said ‘ok’. And that was it, they never came.”
“Did you ask her why?”
“I did. She looked at me and said something like they weren’t our people and when I said he was Dad’s brother she said she didn’t expect me to understand but maybe one day I would.”
My mother’s family was respectable New England stock. Her father had been a Supreme Court judge and I had never heard anyone say a word against him. I had heard though, from somewhere, that they weren’t happy when my mother married into the McKinney family, even though my father at the time, was doing well and on the up and up.
With a deep sigh, I got up.
“Thanks, sis.”
“Be careful, Paul,” she suddenly said.
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged and gave me a quick, awkward hug. We weren’t affectionate in our family, and it felt weird.
“I don’t know. I don’t like any of this,” she confessed.
“I don’t either,” I said.
On the way home, I tried calling Grace, but got no answer.
The next day, I got up early.
I went to work out and felt a surge of determination wash over me. I had been feeling so stressed and overwhelmed and I knew that a good workout was exactly what I needed to clear my mind.
I started off with some stretches to warm up my muscles and then moved on to the weights. I grabbed a pair of dumbbells and began my usual routine, pushing myself harder and harder with each rep. I could feel the burn in my muscles, but I didn't let it stop me. I used the physical exertion as a way to release all the pent-up tension that had been building up inside of me. As I moved from one exercise to the next, I found myself getting lost in the rhythm of my movements. My mind began to quiet, and all the distractions and worries that had been swirling around in my head seemed to fade away. I would not let them beat me, I would not let them win.
My heart was pounding, and my heart rate was racing, it felt amazing.
When I finally finished my workout and collapsed onto the mat, I was drenched in sweat but feeling completely invigorated.
I knew that it had been exactly what I’d needed to clear my mind and get back on track. As I got up and headed for the shower, I felt a renewed sense of energy and determination, ready to tackle whatever the day might bring.
On the way to work, I tried her again and finally got hold of her.
“Grace? Finally! You’re impossible to get hold of. Are you okay?
“I’m okay,” she said, sounding distant.
“You don’t sound okay?”
Then she said, "I'm sorry, I can’t really talk now…”
I tried to interrupt her, “Grace, listen to me….”
“No!” It sounded like she was crying. “I don't want to listen anymore. I’m tired of all of it. I want to feel safe, and I want my family to be safe. They have nothing to do with all of this!”
“I understand that. I get that you're feeling upset. But we can get through this. We’ve been through so much and we have gotten to here, right?”
She was quiet.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You’ve been lying to me too.”
“What do you mean?”
“About Ladden, about what was going on at work?