Page 39 of Deadly Intentions

Donny laced his fingers with mine and sat on the edge of the bed. His thumb traced over my knuckles as his eyes welled with tears. “I nearly lost you, Catarina.”

“I hate you saw me like that.” I closed my eyes. “I can’t ask you to stay with me, Donny. It wouldn’t be fair to expect you to deal with the aftermath of what happened.”

Donny’s eyes snapped to mine. “What are you saying, Cat?”

“I need some time and I’m telling you it’s ok to walk away.”

His hand tightened around mine as he leaned in closer. “I. Am. Not. Walking. Away.” He gritted through a clenched jaw. “I love you. And not just in good times. I realize you need time to heal. But I’ll be beside you while you do. Don’t push me away because you’re afraid.”

“He raped me, Donny.” I sucked in a breath, stifling the cry threatening to erupt. “I’m tarnished.Broken.” My head dropped in shame.

Donny grabbed my chin and forced me to look up. “You are not broken. The bruises will heal, as will the internal scars.”

“Did you hear what I said? He. Raped. Me,” I cried out.

“It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Don’t you understand? I love you—God damn it.” He pressed his lips to mine in a tender kiss. “Nothing will change that.”

I leaned my head against his chest and let the tears flow. “How can you want me after that man ruined me?”

“He didn’t ruin you, baby.” Donny gathered me into his arms and slid behind me on the bed. “It’s going to take you time to overcome what happened. But I’m not going anywhere. Even if it takes years, I’ll be by your side.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“I think you have that backwards. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

I leaned into his hold and closed my eyes. I didn’t know if I could ever give him what he needed, but the selfish side of me couldn’t make him go. I might wake up one day to find him gone, but until then, I’d let him carry me through the darkness.

“How’s Michael?” My thoughts drifted to Antonio.

“Still not awake. Rachel has been with him since he arrived. Antonio only left to come check on you. We’re hopeful he’ll come around now that he’s home, but we just don’t know. Harley bounced between you and him. She’s a good woman.”

“When is she going back?”

“She’s not. The hospital fired her for leaving. Massimo hired her as Michael’s personal nurse.”

“I fucked up everyone’s life all because I didn’t want to accept my family. Maybe what happened is my punishment.”

Donny stiffened beneath me. “Never say that again. What happened wasn’t punishment for anything. Do you hear me?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes.

Donny shifted our bodies, laying me beside him on the bed. He wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me against him. I was afraid to close my eyes, worried I’d wake up to find this had all been a dream, and I was still trapped inside the warehouse. Donny must have sensed my turmoil because he tightened his arm and whispered the words that would give me peace that I didn’t know I needed.

“You can rest. I’ve got you.”

twenty-four

CATARINA

Two months later.

I sat beside Michael’s bed, appreciating the silence. Donny was showing Alex a few things at the club, leaving me alone for the first time in a few days. Antonio and Rachel were at a doctor’s appointment, thankful I was willing to sit with him.

“It’s weird, you know.” I sighed. “For weeks I talked to you because I felt a weird kinship, only to find out I’d been telling my brother-in-law my secrets. Secrets,” I laughed. “More like lies. Me running away nearly got me killed and ruined the lives of two people. Although I suspect Harley is happy to be here now.”

Harley was angry for the first few weeks here in Vegas. But it didn’t take long for things to change. I think Drew was to thank for that. Donny said the minute he saw Drew’s reaction to my friend, he knew Drew was in deep. Harley fought the attraction at first. But one afternoon and a flat tire ended her battle. I’m pretty sure they had sex in the back of the SUV on the side of the road. In fact, we suspected they were off eloping right now.

“I kind of wish you were awake. I could use some advice from a neutral party.” I continued talking. “Donny has been supportive of me, despite my bitchy attitude. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and she assures me my moods are normal. She also says my interest in sex with Donny is also normal. I feel like I shouldn’t want intimacy after being raped, but here lately all I can think about is him—or more specifically, his cock.” I rested my head on the bed and blew out a frustrated breath. “But he won’t touch me. And that’s my fault because I’m embarrassed by how I feel. It’s because deep down I think he’s afraid to admit he’s not attracted to me anymore. Hell, he saw me strapped to a table, naked and used. I wouldn’t want me either.”

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