Page 33 of Dark Desire

Riley

My mother was dead. I still couldn’t comprehend the turn of events that occurred in the last month. I always knew going undercover would be risky. I just didn’t realize to what extent. My heart was torn into a thousand tiny pieces and tossed into the wind.

Fragments of who I was stared back at me as I stood in front of the mirror. Vincenzo had called every day since the funeral. I didn’t answer, of course. Confusion plagued my thoughts as I washed up and pulled on some clothes. Between not eating, not sleeping, and avoiding the FBI and Vincenzo, I was worn for wear. Truth be told, I refused to admit what was wrong with me. I wasn’t ready to accept what was happening.

Falling in love with the mob was not something I expected. And although Dmitri Ivanov had stolen something precious from me, I couldn’t help but blame myself. My need for avenging my father’s death had cost me my mother’s. The worst part was I hadn’t talked to my mother in years. She hated that I sought retribution for his murder and pleaded with me not to join the police force. Blinded by grief and rage, I ignored her.

A wave of dizziness had me gripping the sink. I felt like death warmed over, all due to stress and lack of sleep. I knew I needed to eat, but my stomach had been in knots since laying my mom to rest. My partner, Jackson, had come by multiple times to check on me. Turns out he wasn’t the dick I thought he was. But, like Vincenzo, I told him to leave me alone. The department had given me extended time off, saying I needed to be one hundred percent before returning to my undercover position. They didn’t want me to slip up and blow the operation. Little did they know I'd already fucked up more than I thought possible.

A knock at the front door startled me. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so my hackles were raised. As I headed to the door, I grabbed my gun and held it down by my side. If someone intended to harm me, well, they better pray they get a shot off first. I peered out the peephole in disbelief at the person on the other side.

“Madison?” I pulled open the door and peeked around her into the hallway. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

“Um…” I moved to the side and held my door open. “Yeah, of course.”

“Look.” She brushed past me and stopped inside my apartment. “None of the men know I’m here. But I had to come and see if you were okay.”

“Aren’t you putting yourself at risk being here?”

“Risk for what? The FBI? I don’t care about them. I care about you, Riley. I know it might be hard to believe, but I think of you as a friend. You brought that brooding brother-in-law to be of mine to life, and for that, I'll always care about you.”

“I see.” I ran my hand through my tangled hair to calm the tresses. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No, but can you tell me when the last time you ate something? You look like death.”

“Thanks.” I leaned against the counter and pressed my hands to my face.

“Riley, I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like to lose parents—maybe not so violently." She shuddered, thinking about my others untimely ending. "But what we feel is the same, nonetheless.”

Madison had shared her past with me the night Ivanov delivered the box. I learned from an early age she spent most of her life in foster care. I felt shameful feeling the way I did. “You’re right. Losing a parent in any capacity is awful. I just feel guilty. I pushed her away because she wouldn’t support my decision to be a cop—a decision that ultimately killed her.”

“Stop.” Madison raised an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest. “This is not your fault. That monster, Ivanov, has wreaked havoc on all of us. When the Anastasi’s find him…” She took a breath. “Well, it won’t be good.”

“I just hope Vincenzo doesn’t do anything stupid. My boss wants his head on a platter and if he doesn’t let me bring in Dmitri, I won't be able to protect him.”

“You need to tell him that. But first,” Madison slapped her hand on the counter, “You need a shower and food.”

The mere mention of food made my stomach roll with disgust. I bolted past Madison, barely making it into the bathroom before I dry heaved into the toilet.

“Um, Riley?” Madison stood at the door, her eyes on the counter wide with shocked.

Pushing to my feet, I ignored her curious look. “I’m fine.”

Madison started to speak. “I—”

“No. Leave it alone. Okay?” Madison pursed her lips and nodded. I knew it was killing her not to ask, but she simply helped me stand. She grabbed a washcloth and wet it down.

Pressing it into my hand, she squeezed my shoulder. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I nodded. The truth had a way of finding itself out and when it did—it would change everything. And I wasn’t ready for it. “I’ll go see him tonight. Please don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I won’t. He's holed up at the restaurant, you know.” I nodded. Her was message clear. Madison started toward the front door and paused. “I’m here for you if you need anything. You can call me anytime, no matter what, okay?”

“Thank you.”

Closing the door behind her, I pressed my head against it sighed. Everything was falling apart around me. All I could do was pray Vincenzo wouldn’t do anything dumb. I didn’t know if I could protect us both if he did.

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