Page 64 of Shattered Rhythm

“Keep me out of that equation,” Chase interjects.

“She could be playing us against each other!” Jaxon shouts.

“Liv isn’t like that, and you know it!” Ryder nearly yells.

* * *

Liv

I enter the locker room and realize that River still has my bag with him. Checking myself in the mirror, I discover that the happy spark is back in my eyes and smile. I go back out to the reception area to search for River and my bag, but the guys aren’t there anymore. I hear raised voices coming from Jaxon’s office, so I approach the door but stop when I overhear Ryder mention my name.

“Liv isn’t like that, and you know it!” he yells.

“She’s already standing between us—can’t you see that? What you want is not going to work, Ry!” Jaxon retorts.

“What we want,” River chimes in. “Don’t tell me you don’t want her just as much as we do. I see how you look and act around her.”

“That’s the fucking problem!” Jaxon shouts. “I want her for myself as much as I can see that she would be good for both of you, even Chase. She can’t choose one of us and make the rest of us have to watch the other one be with her, and I don’t think the one she chooses would like that either.”

“But think about it, Jax. What if you don’t make her choose? What if she can have all three of you?” Chase asks, and my heart hurts that he doesn’t include himself in that question. At least I have my answer concerning him—it’s never going to happen.

Jaxon huffs. “That would just be selfish of her. She would come between us eventually. Think about the jealousy and the things people would say about us, the studio, and especially her. Plus, even if she wanted all of us the same way, can you say you wouldn’t want to break my face when I kiss her in front of you, Ryder?”

“I can. River and I know that it works. We proved it already one time,” Ryder tells him.

“It worked for you because you guys know nothing but sharing, but I can’t see myself sharing the one I love. The thought of her jumping from your bed into mine…I just can’t. If you guys pursue this further, the only outcome I see is that her heart gets broken and our family will break apart. It’s better to have her around and care for her as a friend than to ruin everything we have.”

I listen to them, and my heart breaks. Jaxon’s words ring true. The fact that I wanted to share myself with all of them shows how fucked up and selfish I am.Maybe Liam was right about me all along.

Except I’m done running. I’ve spent so much of my life running, from the abuse, the fame, the paparazzi, the trauma, and even from myself. I’m a runner, but I won’t run from what I’ve built for myself here, not if I can help it. I can take a few steps back and be friends with them. I can break my own heart, hold my feelings in, and make life easier for everyone but myself, just like I did for years before.So I straighten my spine, take a deep breath and step into the room.

“You’re right.” I say to Jaxon. All four of them turn to look at me, their expressions a mix of surprise and guilt.

“I’m sorry,” Jaxon says, his eyes locking onto mine. “We didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“It’s okay, and like I said, you’re right. It would be selfish of me, and I never in a thousand years want to come between you guys. I’m not like that. I care for all of you in the same way, and because of that, I think it’s best to just go back to being friends and stay that way.”

“No, Liv, listen—” Ryder starts as River takes a step forward, but I hold out a hand to stop them both.

“No, we can’t do that. I’m not going to be the reason why you guys’ fight. Whatever it is we started, it’s over now. We’re just friends,” I declare.

“Look what you’ve done!” Ryder yells at Jaxon, while River looks like I drowned his puppy. Chase is frowning at me, his head tilted, but I just grab my bag that’s lying by the door and step out of the office.

* * *

I refuse to go home and break down. I can’t. If I let myself break, I don’t know if I can mend myself back together without help. So I change into my dance outfit in the locker room.

I slip into an oversized, long-sleeved beige top and tight black shorts. I’ve given up hiding my scar on my knee, since everyone here has already seen it, and wearing shorts gives me more range of movement. As I try to control my emotions through breathing exercises and stretches, I feel my heart shatter into four pieces, but heartbreak and suffering are nothing new to me. I welcome the pain like an old friend, the only one who has never left me.Everyone else always leaves in the end.

I need to get my emotions out without breaking down on stage, so I choose a song that talks about what I need right now and play “Elastic Heart” by Sia, taking a deep breath as the music starts. The slow, haunting melody fills the room, and I close my eyes, letting the rhythm flow through me. I move my arms, gracefully extending and contracting them with the beat. My movements are fluid and gentle at first, but as the song progresses, I become more and more intense. I twirl and spin, letting my emotions pour out through my dance. The lyrics of the song resonate with me. My heart needs to be strong and resilient, like an elastic heart that could be stretched and pulled but always bounces back.

As the chorus hits, I throw myself into a series of powerful jumps and turns. My legs seem to move on their own, and I feel weightless and free. I’m left with nothing but the raw emotion of the music and the power of my own body. As the song comes to an end, I slow down my movements, gracefully finishing the dance with a final pose. I’m panting, feeling the sweat on my skin and the burn in my muscles, but more than that, I feel alive. Dancing has always been my escape, my release, and right now,it’s the only thing keeping me together.

I hear footsteps behind me, so I spin around to see Chase coming to the middle of the stage. The song is playing on repeat, and he starts moving with the beat. I can’t take my eyes off him. His movements are powerful and lightning fast as he executes some intricate, difficult elements that leave me in awe. His body ripples with every movement, and I can see the sweat glistening on his skin. He finishes with a final sharp movement, standing still and breathing heavily. As we stand there, our eyes locked onto each other, I can sense the hurt in Chase’s gaze.

Why would he be hurt?

He takes a step closer, still panting from his dance.

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