Page 62 of Shattered Rhythm

“It’s been nearly a year now, Olivia. Don’t you think it gets better over time? Have you noticed fewer comments on social media?” she asks, but I shake my head.

“I still haven’t looked at my social media or the YouTube channel since it happened. If they want to leave bullshit comments, they can. I don’t want to burden myself with it. I can’t even bring myself to delete the channel. Just thinking about logging in makes me shudder.” I take a deep breath before continuing. “So, no. I haven’t noticed any improvement. There are still people in front of my house all the time. I don’t know if they’re paparazzi or fans, and it’s not as many as there used to be, but I still can’t open my blinds.”Jessica looks at me sadly.

“I’m sorry to hear that. It must be hard to feel like you’re constantly being watched.”

“It is. I just want them to leave me alone,” I say with a nod, wiping away my tears. Jessica leans forward.

“We’re going to work together to help you get to a point where it doesn’t bother you anymore, okay? You don’t have to go through this alone.”

I give her a small smile, but I know that at the end of the day, I’m very much alone in this.

“Thank you.”

We spend the rest of the session discussing coping mechanisms and ways to handle difficult situations in public.Afterwards, I leave her office and approach my black Audi A1, but my heart drops when I see the tires slit and the windows shattered. Pink spray paint on the hood reads, “Go kill yourself.” It’s another reminder of how much hatred is out there, directed at me for something that wasn’t my fault. I started driving on my own again, thinking that I could handle it, since there were fewer people in front of my house, but this incident proves that I can’t do anything without being harassed. Except staying at home doesn’t provide solace either, as my mind is constantly torturing me with memories of that night.

I need a fucking change, or I won’t make it out of this alive.

I step back into the building to make sure I’m safe and not exposed to the public. Once the door closes behind me, I quickly reach for my phone and dial Frank’s number.

“Olivia?” he says when he answers the phone.

“Frank, I need to start over,” I say urgently.

* * *

Liv

“I feel so bad for her,” Chris says, jolting me out of my memories. “It’s like she can’t even have a moment to herself without someone sticking a camera in her face.” Her eyes flick up to mine, and I nod in agreement.

“It’s crazy how the media can be so invasive sometimes,” I say.

“I know, right?” she replies. “It’s like you can never escape the spotlight, even when you’re going through something as personal as a breakup.”

Girl, if you only knew.

She bites her bottom lip, looking at me intently.

“No one deserves that. She didn’t deserve anything that happened to her or the way everyone treated her afterwards,” she says, and I furrow my brows.

Is she talking about me?

We sit in silence for a moment. Since the conversation turned into a direction I don’t like, I decide to shift gears.

“So, how’s your love life going?” I ask Chris, hoping to lighten the mood. She laughs and shakes her head.

“It’s nonexistent. There’s this hot girl in my psychology class, but she never talks to me. She probably thinks I’m stupid,” she says.

“Why would she think that?” I ask, frowning.

“Well, I may have slept in class once or twice,” she admits sheepishly, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Chris!”

“Sometimes I stay up late gaming with River, and it just happens,” she explains.

“I bet River never slept in class afterwards,” I say, thinking of my cute nerd, but Chris rolls her eyes.

“Probably not. Ew, stop it with the heart eyes.” She playfully pushes me, and I kick some sand on her feet. I check my watch and realize I still need to get some homework done for tomorrow.