Page 44 of Cruelest Vow

But with her it felt as if the nightmares could be shoved aside, the light she emitted driving the shadows of rage and sorrow deep inside a padlocked prison where they belonged.

I wanted her.

I craved her.

Yet the ache of possession, a need that been building for almost half my life couldn’t remove the stain of who and what I was. Nor could it turn back time, soothing the pain. We would never be allowed to survive.

She was no fool, her upbringing making her cautious. I wouldn’t be able to keep the charade going for much longer. One day of hunting and I’d be finished playing games.

As she turned around, pressing her hands against me, I took a deep breath. She was even more beautiful with her tousled hair and the light shimmer of perspiration caused by our hard fucking. At least for now this was a fantasy I could grasp onto.

I buttoned the shirt halfway, backing away and allowing a grin to cross my face. When I brought her wine, she winked at me mischievously. It was to allow the shadowed veil of truth to slide free.

The time of innocence we were sharing would soon be ripped away as it had once before, replaced with the ugliness of reality. If only I could shield her from the pain she’d soon experience, and from the horrors of the past.

But I wasn’t God.

I was just a cold-blooded killer, a monster straight from nightmares. As I walked away, I couldn’t help but wonder if villains deserved to be happy.

“Where are you going?” she asked, although the sound was more of a purr.

“I did promise you dinner.” I didn’t bother with grabbing my trousers, snatching my drink from the table instead. I sensed her trailing behind and when I padded into the kitchen, she was no longer moving.

“Who did that to you?” she asked after a few seconds.

There was no sense in hiding the scars enveloping my body any longer. The brush of her fingertips across what I’d thought to be dead skin had been her first awareness that I was a broken man. The deeply embedded lashes were only the beginning.

I took a sip of my drink then grabbed a pan for water before answering. “I had a brutal father, a man who believed methods of torture were essential in teaching me how to become a man.” I heard the slight gasp and I’d once hoped it would fill me with glee. It didn’t. A wave of nausea shifted into my stomach.

“I’m so… sorry. What a monster.”

“No, sweet Lucia. That’s what he turned me into.” I casually glanced over my shoulder, studying her expression. Was I trying to push her into leaving, running away screaming as she should be doing? Or was my frankness all about testing her resolve? There was no decent answer.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to scare me. Then the woman who’s spent far too much time dealing with men who called dating a complication in their lives would say you’re ensuring I know you’re not the kind of man who can handle commitment.”

She made me laugh, her analytical mind what she used to call escapism so long ago. Even the look on her face was the same as the wide-eyed girl who’d tagged along even when I’d tried my best to shove her away. “I already told you I would ruin you. What else do I need to say?”

“What you obviously don’t seem to understand is that I want you to.”

Her statement was made with all the eager frankness from before, which tugged at what was left of my heart. I pulled onions and peppers from the fridge, grabbing a cutting board and knife without answering. At least at first. “Be careful what you ask for.”

Lucia inched closer, leaning next to the pole closest to the kitchen. “What will you do to me, sully my reputation?”

With her, smiling was easy. If only it could last. “That’s the least of your worries.”

“You don’t have a girlfriend, do you? I guess I should have asked that before we…”

“Had wild sex?”

She pressed her hand across her lips. “Something like that.”

My balls were already tightening again. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Whew,” she whispered, wiping her hand across her forehead in an exaggerated manner. “I’m not that kind of girl. Granted, I didn’t think I was a one-night stand kind of girl either but here we are.”

“Given the filthy sin we just committed, I’d say you no longer need to worry about that.” I threw back my glass of whiskey, immediately reaching for the bottle. Every time she laughed, my stomach tightened.

“I didn’t think of that. You’re brilliant.” After rolling her eyes, she gave me a heated look. “I guess I should confess that I almost kinda sorta have a fiancé.”

---