“But she’s not married either,” I said.Sorry, Aunty.
“Another strange thing, because she actually has good taste in men,” she said, “This world is a really strange one. But besides that, I just want you to be cautious that you may not have as much time as you think.”
“I understand, Mom,” I sighed.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I waited for her to hang up before stretching and letting out a tired groan.
Strong, independent, and self-sufficient.
If I was seeking love and marriage, was I really fit to be described by those words?
I came to Richmond where I knew no one besides Harold, and I managed to work in the same hospital as him. I thought I had a crush on him, but for some odd reason, I wasn’t feeling that rush or trace of any deep romantic feeling. I don't think I truly loved him.
I mean, I could look him in the eyes and hold a conversation. I didn’t have those usual ‘heart skips a beat’ moments around him, but he was a good listener, gentle and understanding.
He had looked out for me a lot when we were in medical school together, so I got attached to him.
But it still felt like something was missing.
I didn’t expect that morning though.
I was done with my rounds and wanted to take a quick break when Catherine approached me.
“There’s an emergency on its way here,” she said, “Harold isn’t back, but can you fill in?”
“Sure, thing, ma’am,” I said as I got to my feet.
“Call me Catherine please. We’re the same age,” she said with a smile.
“Oh, sorry about that, Catherine,” I said in a nervous chuckle, “What’s the emergency?”
“The victim was involved in a car accident. ER says he has a punctured heart,” she explained.
My heart stopped for a second. I had always avoided cases that reminded me of my father’s death.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, “If you can’t do it, then you can sit this one out. You’ve done enough as an independent surgeon here.”
“No, no, I can handle it,” I replied then inhaled and exhaled deeply, “I just need a minute.”
“All right then. I’ll tell the head doctor,” she said as she walked away.
I was tired of running. Maybe this was finally the time that I faced the phobia head on and left it behind.
Also, Harold referred me to this place. I didn’t want to make his effort in vain.
But…
I couldn’t save him.
He was slipping away, and I couldn’t save him.
When the head doctor first stopped, I almost gave up as well. The head doctor was Adam Hunt, after all. An outstanding surgeon and leader everyone knew about; he was a prodigy.
He definitely knew when a case was unsalvageable, and everyone trusted his judgement. There was nothing else to be done, but…