Page 54 of The Boss's Forbidden Assistant

He was losing her. Maybe he’d already lost her. And didn’t he deserve that? Salvador had always excelled at everything he attempted. Being naturally good at things was Salvador’s gift in life, so was it any surprise that in trying to push Harper away he’d well and truly succeeded?

‘We need to have a conversation,’ he said, looking around and scanning the street. ‘Will you at least step this way so we’re out of the flow of people?’ he asked, nodding towards an alleyway.

She looked from him to the alley and then, with an exasperated sigh, said, ‘Jack is waiting for you.’

‘To hell with Jack, I came here to see you.’

She ground her teeth. ‘Well, nonetheless, Jack’s up there, cooling his heels, thinking he’s got a meeting with the great Salvador da Rocha, so you should go.’

‘I’ll go,’ he agreed after a beat. ‘If you’ll give me five minutes.’

She opened her mouth then closed it again and then, with obvious consternation, yanked her wrist free and rubbed it before cutting through the crowds towards the entrance to the alleyway. It was hardly the most romantic of settings—the ground was littered with cigarette butts, dull brick walls were covered with faded graffiti and there was the constant hum of passing strangers. But, whatever else had happened, since seeing Harper again everything Salvador had realised on the island had been confirmed.

And now it felt as though fighting for her, for them, was a matter of life and death. Not in the literal, mortal sense, but in the way that he would have no life if he didn’t have Harper. He could exist, but that wasn’t the same thing as living, as the last year had so clearly showed. It seemed as good a place as any to start.

‘When you came to the island, you brought me back to life, Harper. I hadn’t realised how shadowed my existence was, or why there was anything wrong with that, until you came and made me feel whole, more whole than I’ve ever been. You came and it was like a light had been turned on, a pervasive, beautiful light. And, when you left, the opposite happened: all the lights went out and I am anything but whole now. I miss you so much.’

Her face was impossible to read, but he knew enough to know his words weren’t well received.

‘Please don’t do this,’ she whispered, tortured.

‘I know that what I said that last day was incredibly hurtful.’

She made a noise that might have been a withering laugh but it lacked all force.

‘I didn’t understand then how I felt...’

‘Then let me enlighten you,’ she said quietly, pulling on her handbag again. ‘You seem to like playing this sick little game with me—pushing me away, then pulling me back, pushing me away, pulling me back. That was you pushing me away. This is you trying to pull me back. But I’m not playing any more, Salvador. I’m not playing,’ she repeated, the last words wobbly, tears falling from her eyes freely now. She dashed them away angrily and he could only stare. Her accusation was both fair and so damaging, because he hated himself then.

‘I didn’t want to feel this way about you.’

She tilted her face away, looking out of the alley towards the passing hoards.

‘And you’re right. But it wasn’t a game, Harper. I have wanted you from the first moment I saw you, and loved you for almost as long. I wasn’t pushing you away to torment you, but because I was fighting how I felt about you from the first day—only my feelings were so strong, I couldn’t conquer them. I could make headway, sometimes, but not for long. You were here...’ He pressed his fingers to his heart. ‘You live here, in me, in my heart, and you always will.’

She jerked her face back to his, eyes frantic as they scanned his face. He thought for a moment he’d got through to her, but then her face paled and she shook her head.

‘You’re just raising the stakes now. The ultimate attempt to pull me back: you love me. But no one who’s in love could say...could say...’

He groaned, hating himself for the words he’d spoken in his office that day.

‘It was torture to say it,’ he said. ‘I was so angry at myself for loving you when I hadn’t been able to love her. I felt like every day with you was a betrayal, every feeling I had for you proof of my failure as a husband. None of that excuses my behaviour, but I just want to explain...’

She swallowed, then lifted her phone from her pocket. ‘Jack will be waiting,’ she said stiffly. He wasn’t just losing her, he’d lost her. It was his worst nightmare come to fruition.

‘To hell with Jack,’ he said again.

‘We had a deal.’

He cursed inwardly, because he was trying to win her back, and reneging on their compromise didn’t seem like a good way to do that.

‘I love you,’ he said quietly, eyes boring into hers in the hope she could see the truth of what he was saying. ‘I love you with every single fibre of who I am, with all of me. I’m done fighting it, done running from it. I want, for the rest of my life, to fight for us, to run to you, no matter where I am in this world. I am so in love with you, I cannot imagine a life without you in the centre of it. But if I have to, if you don’t love me back, you will still always be the centre of who I am. Even if we’re not together, I will love you. It’s not a choice, Harper, it’s who I am now.’

Another tear slid down her cheek. ‘This isn’t...it’s not about if I love you or not,’ she said unevenly. ‘It’s about whether I can be with you again.’

It was hardly anything—barely the cracking open of the door, a tiny ray of light in the midst of so much darkness—but it wassomething.

‘It’s about whether I can trust you.’ She stared up at him. ‘You’re not the only one who’s been hurt before, Salvador. It washardfor me to face how I felt about you and hard for me to come to you that morning and ask to stay.’

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