Page 46 of Accidentally, Scandalously Yours

Adeline arches her brows. “That’s a rule in your relationship?”

Poppy looks at her like she just asked a stupid question. “Is it not in yours?”

Charlize laughs as Adeline blinks. It’s not often Adeline does the slow blink. Nothing usually surprises her.

“Jameson and I have never discussed our flossing habits,” Adeline says.

Poppy looks positively stunned. She also appears lost for words, which is a rare occurrence. Poppy normally has a lot to say on most matters. She stares at Adeline for a few moments before bringing her gaze back to me. “Don’t stop flossing. And when you find your husband, don’t be like Adeline. Flossing must have boundaries surrounding it.”

“I’d like to point out that we both floss,” Adeline says. “We just don’t talk about it or have rules about it.”

My sister, Jenna, looks at me. “I’dlike to point out that we’ve just dedicated time I never imagined dedicating to discussing flossing.”

“It’s an important discussion, Jenna,” I say. “I’m trying to reclaim time in my life and I’m wondering if flossing is a pointless exercise.”

“I agree,” Jessica says. “Reclaiming time is important.”

Lorelei looks at her. “Right, but flossing is important too. My dentist is fixated on it, always telling me to do it.”

“Stop,” Poppy says with a stern voice. “Just stop. This discussion is finished.” She points at Adeline. “You’re going to think about some new boundaries.” She points at the rest of us. “You all are too.” She then jabs her finger at me. “And you’re going to never stop flossing, and you’re also going to figure out where to find better men to date because quite honestly, I think those Tinder men are messing you up. If you had some good dick in your life, I am absolutely certain that giving up flossing wouldn’t even be a thought in your head.”

She’s right.

Those Tinder menaremessing me up.

In much the same way the heating in here is messing me up.

I undo another button on my blouse and fan my face with my hand.

“It’s hot in here, right?” I say to everyone.

Jenna shakes her head. “No, Kris, it’s not.” She frowns as she looks me over. “Are you okay?”

I draw in a long breath and then release it while making eye contact with the waiter and pointing at my wine glass to indicate I’d like another. Then, looking at my sister as the girls move on to a conversation about what they want to do after dinner tonight, I say, “No, I don’t think I am.” I’m many things, but okay is not one of them.AndI’m hot. It will be a miracle if I don’t start stripping soon.

I didn’t want to come this weekend. After a particularly awful date last night, in which the guy told me he was friends with Johnathon and that he’d heard about my “inability to provide adventure in the bedroom”, all I wanted to do was stay home and lick my wounds.

Jenna forced me to come. She said it would do me good to be with people. This is her group of friends we’re here with, not mine. They get together once a week, and I’ve tagged along a few times over the last couple of months. They also come on these couples’ weekends every couple of months. I like these women, but the entire friendship group experience is foreign to me, so I find it awkward at times.

For instance, sharing that you won’t give your husband a blowjob if he doesn’t floss isn’t something I’d discuss in a group setting. I’d talk about that with my sister privately, but I wouldn’t broadcast it to the world.

Except, lately it feels like everything is changing.

It feels likeI’mchanging.

My thoughts. My feelings. My behavior.

All of it.

And it’s got me flustered, bewildered,unsure.

I mean, telling these women that I think I should be done with men? Those are not words I ever imagined coming out of my mouth.

I don’t think I should trust myself at the moment.

My therapist thinks I should.

She’s all for my confusion. She tells me it’s exciting because it means transformation is happening. I think I maybe need a new therapist.

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