Page 72 of Accidentally, Scandalously Yours

Also, Alan is already one of my least favorite people.

Alan: This shitshow is going to be hell on earth, Bradford. I hope you know that.

Alan: Call me as soon as you wake up. We need to put a fucking plan into action ASAP.

Hayden: I’m billing you double for the work I endured on your marriage contract to Cecelia and triple for what we’ll have to do about the prenup you chose to get married without.

Gage: Jesus, you’re so fucking competitive. Even when you’re out there fucking up, you’re making sure you rank #1 at it.

Callan: Holy fuck, big brother, I’m always impressed with your choice in women. Well, except for the last one. Congrats.

Charlize: Your second best friend approves. I think this means you’re out of the rough now. Right?

Charlize: Also, I’m so excited that we will be celebrating our wedding anniversaries on the same day every.single.year! Owen took me to Elvis last night too. He may have actually been the REAL Elvis, Bradford! He was so old! I need to know what package you guys got. Your bestie was stingy and only paid for one song. He refused to get the package with extra songs and Elvis sunglasses. If you got the sunglasses, what can I do to encourage you to give them to me? I mean, if Kristen wants them, then obvs they’re hers because she’s your wife (YOUR WIFE!!), but if she doesn’t want them, please make them my wedding present. Kisses x

Ethan: Dad’s losing his shit, just FYI. But I am so fucking glad you didn’t marry that dragon woman.

Dad: Call me.

Cecelia: This is going to cost you your reputation. I will make sure of that if it’s the last thing I do.

Owen: Never saw that coming. Congrats. Is golf still on Tuesday morning or are you taking a honeymoon?

Mom: I tried to call because I wanted to say this to you rather than text it. I imagine you’re busy, so I’ll text it. I love you, Bradford and I hope Kristen makes you happy. It makes my heart so happy to know you chose to marry for love rather than for your career (I’m hoping that’s what this is. I can’t imagine you doing what you did for any other reason). Call me when you get a chance xx

I scroll through a stack of texts that are business related until I get to a text thread from a woman called Jane. These were sent during the night in the early hours and they’ve already been read. I read from where last night’s texts started.

Jane: Calling me at this time of night to get me to arrange a last-minute wedding is not in my job description, Bradford. The next time you do it, I would prefer more than one minute’s notice. Just so we’re clear on this.

Bradford: Consider us on the same page.

Jane: I’ll text you as soon as I’ve sorted everything for you.

Jane: Okay, the marriage license guy is awake and heading into the office now to arrange the license for you. And the jeweler will be at his work in half an hour, so by the time you get the marriage license, he’ll be ready for you.

Bradford: Thank you. I appreciate this.

Jane: You better. I was sleeping like a baby.

Jane: Oh, and PS I quit.

Oh, shit.

I glance up as Bradford comes back into the bedroom. I really want to take a long moment with his naked body and all those muscles of his, but there’s no time for that. “We got married last night.”

“Yes.”

I blink. “And?”

“And what?”

I blink again. Twice. “Why are you being so calm about this?”

“Why are you not being calm?”

My eyes widen. “Umm, maybe because you’re engaged and the whole world now knows you cheated on your fiancée so you could get Elvis to marry us on a whim in Vegas.”

He frowns. “How does the whole world know?”

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