Page 131 of Fire and Ice

Derek looked at him doubtfully. "She'll be back before you know it, Jack."

Unfortunately, in the next few days, Jack did not understand. He just got angrier and angrier and his emotions began to spill into his work. He started snapping at everyone and his staff started avoiding him. Derek had to pull him aside a couple of times to calm him down.

"I take it understanding is not working?" Derek asked.

"Fuck off!"

"Jack, I'm the only one here who is willing to face you," Derek said. "Now you've got to get a grip of yourself or you're going to bring this company down in a space of a week."

Derek was exaggerating of course. The company could run itself smoothly thanks to Jack's efficient assistants—but his assistants were presently nervous wrecks because of him.

Right now, Jack felt like the company could go to hell and that's when he realized that he was holding on to anger so toxic it was making him irrational. He was not this person. He seriously had to get his act together.

"I'll sort my shit out," Jack assured his friend wearily.

For the next two weeks, things at work returned to normal. As normal as Jack could force himself to be at the office. He also finally shaved his beard and had buried the anger somewhere deep inside him. A pit of worry had started to grow with each passing day as the three-week mark approached. Was Maia all right? No news was good news right? Jack was itching to call Viktor but Derek had cautioned him about that. There was nothing Viktor could tell Jack: it was against protocol and might only bring about a repeat of the Mike Callahan debacle if both men went into a pissing contest.

The nights were a different story. He didn't want to go home to his apartment. He felt an unbearable ache in his chest because she wasn't there. He missed her and was slowly going out of his mind with anxiety. This made him lose sleep at night, and though he tried to put on a brave front at work, his face was haggard and taut with dark circles shadowing his eyes.

He lived on caffeine during the day and whiskey at night with the occasional slice of pizza that Derek would try to shove down his throat. He was functioning, but he was also empty.

***

The first inkling that Jack had that she was back was the aroma of apple pie that wafted through the elevator doors as the car reached the penthouse.

Elation hit him. She was back. She was safe, Jack thought as a surge of emotion overwhelmed him.

Then he saw her. His beautiful Maia, smiling at him as if she had never left. She walked towards him as he stood motionless in front of the elevator. He was stunned. He was stunned that, as she approached, the pent-up anger that had consumed him that first week came roaring back.

As she reached out to hug him, he recoiled. He held his arms out to hold her at arm's length and shook his head numbly at her.

"Jack?" Maia asked, a frown etched in her face, alarm in her eyes.

"I can't do this," Jack found himself whispering hoarsely. His own voice sounding so distant. "I thought I could, but I can't"

"Jack, I'm back. I'm sorry that ..."

"No, Maia. I was wrong to think that this could work," he continued quickly, wanting to get it all out because he knew that if he kissed her he would be dragged back into their complicated relationship. He had managed to untangle himself, hadn't he? He had survived the past three weeks. He missed her terribly, but he was functional. He could do this. Now was his chance to work her out of his system. "I don't think this relationship can work. I'm sorry, Maia."

"You're ending this?" Maia's voice caught in a hitch, her hand went to her throat as if in disbelief.

"I don't accept what you do, I lied," Jack admitted. "I'll always try and want to protect you. But not knowing where you are, what danger you're in—that will drive me insane. That's not a life I want. A life of not knowing. It'll turn me into a horrible person—that's not me. You'll always choose your job, I'm not even going to try to compete."

Maia's eyes flashed with pain and Jack fought the urge to yank her into his arms and kiss her to make that pain go away. Just as quickly, a mask fell over her face, her clear blue eyes turning so icy they made Jack wince.

"I see," Maia said with no emotion. "I guess there's nothing else I can say?"

Jack strengthened his resolve. He could do this. When he spoke, it was with businesslike detachment. "I hope you can get your things out by tomorrow. I leave for work at around 9:00 am."

Maia gave a snort of disgust. "Is this how you end all your arrangements?"

Jack sighed. "Maia, I'm trying to make a clean break for both of us."

"You speak from experience of course," Maia said mockingly. "Don't worry Jack, you won't find a trace of me anywhere when you come back tomorrow."

She grabbed her purse and walked to the elevator. Before she stepped in, she looked back at him and said, "Have a good life, Jack."

And then she was gone.

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