Page 111 of Fire and Ice

He was still seething at the latest information from Derek regarding the truth about Maia's injuries. He had seen the bruising on her abdomen and had been appalled at how bad it looked. The doctor had been more concerned about the head injury after the full body scan revealed no internal injuries; everyone assumed that most of the bruising had come from the blast. And now he found out that Sergei Reznikov had beaten Maia and it made his blood boil. He was impotent with rage because the man was dead and there was nothing he could do in retribution. So now all his anger was directed at Maia, because Rick was right, she had no instinct for self-preservation. It was as if she had a death wish.

Jack ran down the incidents so far: first was the jet ski, second was setting herself up as bait, third was challenging Reznikov to beat her up and shoot her, and then taking a shot at the gas tank. Other hints of self-destructive behavior included taking down the three thugs at Betty Banning's grocery store when she could have had the choice to stand down. What bugged Jack was that he couldn't say he would not have done the same thing given the circumstances. But why, damn it, did it happen to Maia every freaking time? And that pissed him off.

She wasn't an adrenalin junkie, she didn't go out of her way looking for danger. In fact she could be mellow and just sit still when she wanted to. Heck, she loved to bake, sit out on the deck, drink tequila and enjoy the sunset.

Jack thought about the recurring nightmares of her parent's murders. Those may hold the key. He had woken up a couple of more times to those heartbreaking dreams that Maia never remembered. He had never mentioned them to her either. Well, that was about to change now that they could finally slow down and work towards having a relationship.

When he was a Navy SEAL he had heard stories of soldiers who had been lone survivors of attacks. There was a phenomenon called "survivor's guilt" and he wondered if eighteen years down the road this had been the motivation for Maia's actions, even without her realizing it. If she was still having nightmares, that trauma may not have truly been resolved and was lingering in her subconscious and had been manifesting itself in her decisions. That she should have died eighteen years before with her parents, that she should not be living this life might explain why she was willing to sacrifice herself at every chance she could get. The thought made Jack's blood run cold.

Somehow he didn't think she would be open to seeing a shrink.

But there were so many things he wanted with Maia. He felt his chest tighten when he realized he was contemplating a future with her. It would be great if she stayed alive long enough for her to share it with him.

By the time his SUV pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, he had his anger in check. Now was not the time to go off on her when she was at her lowest. He could wait. He could be patient.

"Thanksgiving is next week," Jack remarked casually as he handed Maia another slice of pizza. "You're invited too, Derek."

"What do you mean?" Maia asked in confusion. She must not have been recovering her wits fast enough because she'd been having trouble understanding Jack.

"Mom called," Jack said, taking a bite out of a slice of pepperoni pizza. "She's been so happy about the end of Brett's protective custody she thinks she could pull off a grand party by next week. She's invited fifty people for Thanksgiving dinner. We're heading to Richmond, babe."

"Okay, okay," Maia said holding up her hands as if trying to figure out something. "Hold it right there." By this point, her voice had risen in pitch. "I am not going to Thanksgiving dinner at your Mom's"

"Maia, calm down," Jack said softly.

"No, I won't calm down!" Maia screeched. She started hyperventilating.

Derek chuckled while Jack tried to control a grin.

"It's not funny!"

"Sweetheart, you just annihilated a Russian drug lord and you're panicking about Thanksgiving at my mother's, of course it's funny," Jack said with amusement. He put his pizza down and scooted closer and tried to hug her. She pulled away.

"I can stay at your apartment, you don't have to worry about me," Maia said in a small voice.

"Don't worry, I'll be there. You won't be alone with his busybody nosy relatives," Derek added.

"It's not that," Maia said. "I've met your parents, Jack. They're very traditional. And you're not the type to bring home someone you've only just started dating. How many of your girlfriends have you brought to Thanksgiving dinners?"

Jack scowled but admitted reluctantly, "Only Claire."

"See, my point exactly," Maia replied. She chose her next words carefully as Jack's expression started to darken. "Look, I know you'd feel guilty about leaving me at New Park while you take off to go to Thanksgiving dinner at your mom's. But don't. I'm used to spending it alone even if..."

"It has nothing to do with guilt!" Jack snapped angrily, all the amusement of earlier disappearing.

Derek mumbled something about leaving them to settle things and retreated out the room.

"I just want you to be with me," he added roughly, not looking at Maia's eyes. He stared at his feet. "Look I don't know what you are waiting for me to say ... I ... it's too soon."

"I'm not expecting you to say anything," Maia cut in quickly, her panic returning but for a different reason. She could feel that Jack wanted to tell her something but was struggling with the words. And they were the words she dreaded to hear because they might echo her own feelings. She was falling in love with him and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was addicted to his presence, to his touch. No man had ever made her feel like this. It made her feel unsettled, like she had no right to these feelings.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, I'll go then. Sorry for making such a fuss about it." Maia tried to make light of it. "I guess with fifty other people it would hardly be an intimate family affair."

Jack's eyes shot to hers suspiciously and narrowed. Maia grinned back innocently and called out to their friend. "Derek, you can quit hovering and come back in."

"Any relative I should steer clear off?" Maia asked leading the subject away from dangerous ground.

"His Aunt Nat," Derek replied. "She plays the matchmaker all the time. And she's been after Jack to settle down for the past, what? Seven years? Oh, and if Stephanie Locke is there, stay away from her too."

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