Page 27 of Hide Away By the Sea

I stood up and marched down the steps, my heart racing in anticipation. “Why did you lie, Jensen?” I snapped. “Do you know how stupid that made me look?”

He leaned back against his car door, defiantly crossing his arms over his chest. All traces of regret had been replaced by pain and anger.

“That was never my intention, Everleigh. I can’t help that you never cared about what was happening in my life.” He flung his arms out wide. “Do you want to know why Michelle and I aren’t married?”

My heart lurched in my chest at the sound of all the emotions in his voice. I could hear the pain, frustration, and even passion in his words. Before I could even say anything, he pushed off his car and walked toward me. His body was so close to mine as he looked down at me. The energy around us crackled like fire, burning my skin.

His heated stare was enough to take my breath away. There was a wildness in his eyes I’d never seen before.

“You know,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve been waiting to say all this to you for so long that I don’t even know where to begin.” He turned away from me and sighed. “Michelle and I are not married because I never loved her the way I loved you; it wasn’t fair to her.” His head hung low, and he shook it. “She deserved someone who could be what she wanted.”

The breath hitched in my lungs as those three words left his lips. He said it in the past tense, but it made me wonder if hestillloved me. If he had said he did on that Christmas night, I don’t know if I would’ve had the strength to leave him. I had a feeling it was going to be impossible to leave him now. I thought I would have the upper hand when I confronted him, but that steadily seemed to dissolve away.

“If you loved me, you definitely didn’t show it,” I grumbled low, my heart throbbing in my chest.

Jensen spun around and scoffed at me, his eyes piercing through mine. “Neither did you, Everleigh!” he spat back. “Tell me, did that night mean anything to you?” My regret cut like a knife as Jensen moved closer to me, his gaze raw and determined. “The truth, Everleigh,” he demanded. “I think we both deserve it. Was I just a one-night stand to you?”

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to compose myself.

“No,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I loved you too, but you knew it wouldn’t work between us, not with me being in Boston and you here.” Jensen’s expression softened a bit as he took another step toward me. “And now,” I growled, moving away from him, “you intentionally lied about Michelle and becoming a father. Why would you even do that?”

He let out a harsh laugh devoid of any humor or joy. “Seriously, Everleigh? It was a test! I wanted to see if you still had feelings for me like Michelle seems to think you have. I thought she was crazy, but I had to see for myself.”

“And what did you see?” I asked coldly, crossing my arms over my chest.

He shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “There were moments where I could feel the connection, but then you’d shut yourself off.”

We locked eyes with each other for what felt like an eternity as time slowed down around us. As much as it pained me to admit it, building walls around my heart was the only way to protect myself from the hurt I unintentionally caused myself when I cut off all communication with him. I thought I’d be able to move on, build a life for myself, both professionally and romantically, and this his absence wouldn't affect me. How wrong I was.

On the way over, I told myself I wouldn’t hold back.Speaking the truth will set you free. That was a saying my grandmother always told me. Of course, I knew she was referring to Jensen, but I never entertained the thought. Now was my chance to get it all out in the open. Maybe speaking the truthwouldset me free.

I swiped at my eyes and let out an angry breath. “I put the walls up to help with the pain,” I confessed. Jensen’s expression shifted and the tension left his shoulders. He started to move closer, but I held up a hand. “No, let me get this out. I didn’t want to leave, but there was no other way. It never would’ve worked. And if I’m being honest . . .” I let the sentence trail off as I let him see the vulnerability behind my eyes. “I was angry that you didn’t come after me. Yes, you told me to call when I was ready, but a part of me wanted you to fight for me.” More tears welled in my eyes. “And you didn’t.”

Jensen swallowed hard and lowered his gaze. “You’re right, I didn’t. I wish you knew how much I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

“We can only blame ourselves,” I said, wiping my tears away.

Jensen lifted his head, his gaze penetrating mine. “You’re right, but now we have the chance to do something about it.”

I shook my head. “No. Too much has happened. I don’t have the energy to deal with whatever is going on between us.”

Jensen sighed heavily but kept his eyes on me. “I understand. You’re going through a lot right now. But you need to know I’m not going anywhere. I’ve spent years waiting to see you again. If you love me like you say you do—or did—then we deserve this chance.”

Pulse racing, I stepped away from him before he could touch me. I didn’t trust myself.

“I have to go.”

I hurried to my car, ignoring as he called out my name. Instead, I got in and sped away from his house. Tonight didnotgo as planned. I thought my anger would help me get over him, but all it did was light a fire of longing within me.What am I going to do?

12

JENSEN

The second I saw Everleigh waiting on my porch last night, I could see it on her face . . . she knew. We were both to blame for our downfall and maybe I had a bigger hand in it. I should’ve fought for her. I should’ve flown up to Boston and let her know I’d do anything to keep her in my life. I knew she would’ve said no, but I could’ve given her no other option. I would’ve rather spent the distance apart knowing she was mine, than go through all these past years without her. Her schooling was important, and I understood that. If only I had let her know I was happy to wait for her, things would be different now.

One thing was for sure, I wasn’t about to let her return to Boston, to let her leave again without knowing that.

As soon as the sun rose, I dressed and headed over to Everleigh’s. She was only going to be in town for less than two months now, so I didn’t have much time to take her on dates, to show her what life with me could be like. After last night, I had no clue if she wanted to see me ever again, but I had to try. Fighting for her was what I’ve wanted to do for so long. My opening had finally come, and I wasn’t going to waste it.

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