Page 30 of Savage Prince

“Because it was bad,” I whisper.

“Really bad,” he confirms, finally shifting his focus back to my face. “It fucked you up. A lot. And rightfully so.”

“But it won’t fuck me up now, Ford,” I say. “Hearing that something bad happened to you is different than remembering it. Like when you told me that Hammer wants to kill me. Intellectually, I realize that I got dealt a shitty hand if that’s the kind of father I have, but it didn’t affect me emotionally. I don’t remember being raised by him or spending time with him or craving his approval. When I saw his face, all I felt was pretty certain that we shared DNA. That’s it. That old past can’t hurt me.”

“But you’re angry with him. You’ll help kill him if you get the chance,” he counters. “So, you do feel some kind of way about it.”

“I’m angry because of the injustice of it all. Fathers shouldn’t try to murder their daughters, right? I mean, people shouldn’t murder other people, period, but especially not people they chose to bring into the world. But I’m angry about it in the same way I’d be angry if I read an article about abused kids. It’s infuriating, but…distant.”

He chews on the inside of his lip. “I can see your point, I just…” He sighs. “I guess I don’t want to be the one to tell you. I don’t want that story linked with me in your mind for the rest of your life.”

I roll that over in my head, seeing his point. “Well, is there any reason Ihaveto know what happened? Am I in any danger from that part of my past?”

He seems to consider that, then shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. I think everyone from that situation has…moved on.”

“Moved on, huh?” I huff. “Did you personallymove them on?”

“No comment,” he says. “But they all deserved to be moved on. Don’t doubt that for a second.”

“Okay.” I nod for another beat, then lift my hands at my sides, palms facing the slanted ceiling. “Then I vote that we let it go and revisit the missing years at a later date if necessary.” I stand, swaying toward him. “I also vote that we relax and start making up for lost time.”

He watches me cross the room, hunger in his eyes, but when I stop in front of him, he doesn’t reach for me. “Promise me you won’t hate me later. If you regain your memories and you start to feel differently about sex and control and…me. Promise me you’ll remember that I was as honest as I could be without bringing up every ugly thing from your past.”

I reach up, cupping his face gently in my hand. “I don’t think I’m going to regain my memories, Ford. I’m sorry about that. I know there’s a part of you that really wants me to, but they feel like they’re locked away somewhere I can’t reach. Somewhere I might never be able to reach.”

“But a part of me doesn’t want you to remember, too,” he says, his voice rough. “I wouldn’t wish some of those memories on my worst enemy. I just… The person you were before. God knows, you weren’t perfect.” He laughs. “And sometimes you drove me fucking crazy, but I just…”

I brush my thumb over his cheek, where his whiskers have grown prickly after a day in his human body without a razor. “You just loved her,” I finish for him. “I know. I can feel it when you touch me. How much you loved me before and how confused you are about what we are to each other now.” I step closer, tilting my head back and lifting my lips to his. “But you don’t have to decide how to feel forever right now. We can just be together and comfort each other and make a beautiful new memory. I think you deserve one of those. I think we both do.”

His eyes shine as he says, “But I have baggage, Juliet, and you don’t. I remember it all. Every word, every touch, everything you made me feel.”

“I know,” I whisper. “And that’s not fair. I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t care about fair. I just don’t want you to think I’m crazy if this gets a little more…emotional for me than it might be for you.”

“Oh, it’s going to be emotional for me,” I say, my breath coming faster as he moves close enough for his strong chest to brush against my already tight nipples through my t-shirt. “I loved you the second I saw you running toward me on the beach, before I even knew you were a shifter. Your soul, your being, is so important to me, Ford. I get it, and I’m never going to think you’re crazy.”

He arches what I can tell he intends to be a teasing brow, but his still-shining eyes steal the levity from the moment. “Never?”

I smile. “I guess you should never say never. If you don’t pick me up and throw me on that bed pretty soon, Imightstart to question your mental health. Just a little bit.”

He bends low enough to hook his hands behind my knees, lifting me into the air with a confidence that makes my heart swoop. I wrap my legs around his waist, a moan of relief vibrating my throat as I feel him long and hot beneath his jeans. “Then, to the bed it is,” he says.

He kisses me, deep and hard, unleashing all the need he’s been holding back and instantly, I’m on fire…

Almost literally.

“Sorry,” I say, giggling as he curses and tosses me onto the bed with a bit more speed than I think he intended. “I forgot that happens. I can tone it down, I promise,” I say, taking a deep breath and rein in my fire until it glows a soft, respectable, frisky phoenix pink. I brush my hair over my shoulder and shoot him a playful grin. “See? Now I’m not too hot to handle.”

“You’re always too hot to handle,” he says as he tackles me on the mattress, his lips tangling with mine as his weight settles on top of me. I wrap myself around him like an octopus about to rip a clam from its shell, fierce and determined and starved for the treasure inside.

But I don’t want to rip Ford apart.

I want to put him back together again.

I want to heal the places that hurt, soothe his tortured soul, and calm his fears. I want to show him that there’s nothing to be afraid of when we’re together. Whether I remember what came before or not, I’m still someone he can count on. I’m a person who loves him and values him and will never let him down, no matter what.

I funnel all those feelings, every sacred promise in my heart, into my kiss, into my hands as I help him dispose of his clothes and pull him back against me, relishing the feel of his bare skin against mine.

---