Page 133 of Mafia Kings: Dario

“…you think it will make you weak if you love her,” Niccolo realized. “You’ve been don for three weeks, and you’re barely hanging on as it is… and you’re afraid if you stumble, if you make a mistake, then everything our family fought for will turn to dust… and it’ll beall your fault. That’s it, isn’t it? So you’re going to play the tragic hero, be miserable and alone, and carry the whole world on your shoulders.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, FUCKYOU.You’re my brother – myfamily –and you’re forgetting that we’reall in this together.We stand together, or we fall together – but the important thing is we do ittogether.We do it so the family goeson– and how can it go on if you refuse to love? If you refuse to take a wife and have children? Loving Alessandra will make youstronger,you idiot. You’ll have something greater than yourself to fight for.”

“I have thefamilyto fight for – ”

“Thereis no family if it ends with us!”Niccolo raged. “If we’re the last ones… if we die alone… then what the fuck did we sacrifice for? What the hell is it all worth if there isn’t anyone to share it with, to pass it all down to?”

When I didn’t answer, Niccolo shook his head. “You’re making a terrible mistake. I only hope you realize it in time.”

Then he turned and walked out of the room.

I stood there for a long moment…

And then I walked over to the wardrobe where her dresses were still hanging.

I pulled one off the hanger, held it to my face, and breathed deeply.

It smelled of her…

The scent of lilacs…

And the smell of her hair when it was warmed by the sun.

For a second, I imagined she was there with me…

That I hadn’t lost her…

And that everything might still be alright.

But then I opened my eyes…

And I was alone and miserable.

Just like Niccolo had said.

47

Alessandra

Lars took me back home in one of the Mercedes. It was a 30-minute drive down mostly deserted two-lane roads, and he was quiet most of the way.

I just stared out the window and wondered if I would ever stop hurting.

Finally, he spoke. “It’s poetic in a way, isn’t it?”

I turned to him, confused. “What is?”

“Our little journey started the moment we saw each other in the café… and now it ends with the two of us, as well.”

“I guess that’s true,” I murmured.

“Is there anything I could say to change your mind? Anything I could do so you’d let me take you back to the house?”

“No. But thank you for asking.”

He nodded and continued driving in silence.

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