Page 31 of Seductive Desires

I wavered, taking in his reassuring smile. Tightening my hold on his hand, I turned to Liam, giving him a sharp nod.

“Good. In that case, we will be working closely together from here on out. Whatever information you feel comfortable giving me about him, including the ways he has come at you in the past will be helpful.” He patted Jo’s hip, helping her stand before he strode from the room.

Dmitriy eyed me thoughtfully. “You are not weak. Do you have any fighting experience?”

Mateo scowled. “Why would she need that? She will not be involved.”

Dmitriy shrugged. “I found almost too late that it was better to give my wife the knowledge and practice to defend herself rather than assume I could always protect her.”

Jo grinned. “Gabi and I train with James a couple times a week in self defense. You can join us if you want? You’ll love her. She’s awesome.”

I dropped my head. “I’m not as strong as I look. I’ve been taking classes for years, both self defense and some offensive stuff like tae kwon do, but it didn’t mean anything when he showed up. I still froze. I only snapped out of it when he…” Nope. I’m not going to talk about that or I’ll panic again.

Mateo released my hand, pulling me into the crook of his arm instead. “You are safe, mariposa.”

He kept reminding me, but it was reassuring every time he said it.

“I might be able to help with that.” The man who stepped into the room was in a suit that did little to hide the fact that he was absolutely massive. He had a wide chest and a trim waist like a football player.

“Hi, James! Mariana, this is James. He is the one teaching us self defense,” Jo supplied. I couldn’t help but be a little intimidated. One punch from this guy would probably knock someone into next week. But if Jo trusts him, I should probably give him the benefit of the doubt.

“You can help?”

He nodded. “You practice self defense enough, it becomes second nature. You need to focus on working past panic and surprise to take action quickly. I’m sure once you get moving, you know what to do.”

He wasn’t wrong. Once I snapped out of the shock, I was able to deal with the attackers in the alley. It wasn’t easy to say the least but I still did it.

* * *

Everyone filtered out eventually,leaving me alone with Mateo for the first time since the hospital. I felt nervous. I wasn’t kind to him before. I was so afraid of what I found out, I didn’t give him a chance to speak. And now, here I was, using that information to benefit myself. I picked at my nails, my head down.

“Mariposa,” he murmured gently.

I sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry,” I blurted. When I snuck a glance at him, he looked surprised. “I was scared. I’m still scared.” I’ve been scared most of my life but Mateo felt different. His job was scary and I still didn’t really know what it meant, but my reactions to him were downright terrifying. He made me feel safe when no one else did, he still does. He also makes me completely lose my head whenever I’m with him. It’s intense and overwhelming and I felt out of my depth with him.

His fingers slid along my jaw, cupping my cheek gently. “Mariposa, you have nothing to apologize for. My job is… different from most, yes. Difficult to explain.”

I actually snorted at that and he pursed his lips, trying and failing to hide his smile.

“I just… I don’t know how to do this… It’s all so overwhelming and we–”

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. My breath caught in my throat at the sweet gesture. He pulled back, his gaze locking with mine.

“Sweet mariposa, you do not need to worry about me.”

I drew away from him, my fists clenched in my lap. That sounded like goodbye. That wasn’t what I wanted. I mean, until a few hours ago, it was. Maybe. But not now. I felt a lump form in my throat.

“You have many reasons to be overwhelmed, mariposa. I do not want to be one of them.”

My chin trembled and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to say it. To say he was done. That four weeks was long enough for him to get over me. That I was an idiot for letting him go in the first place.

“So I will wait.”

My eyes flew open and I gasped. He tucked my hair behind my ear.

“You– I thought—”

He raised an eyebrow. “You thought I would let you go? For the most part, I am a generous man, mariposa. But when it comes to you, I am selfish. I want time to show you I am more than just my job.” He touched my cheek again. “When you are ready.”

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