Page 56 of Brutal Sinner

“I’m sure Faith will tell you it was mostinconvenientwhen she had her baby, but I’m guessing she wouldn’t change a thing. Tell her, Faith.”

I nod, gazing at my perfect daughter and say happily, “When I found out I was pregnant, I was horrified. Terrified even because I was so uneducated, I didn’t realize it would be that easy.”

We reach an area facing the mountains, where there are comfortable seats set around a pretty garden.

Ashton takes one of the seats and the Bonnie the other and as we settle down, I find myself unburdening a little.

“It must have been terrifying.” Ashton smiles with concern and I nod, thinking back on my darkest days.

“Jonny was due to take up a new position. We both knew that day was coming and talked about it at length. He told me he would arrange for me to join him, and even the thought of that terrified me.”

I say with a sigh. “Life in Heaven was controlled, hard and emotionless. We were brought up to fear God and respect the bible. We were indoctrinated and just the fact I had kissed Jonny was a sin in the townsfolk’s eyes, let alone what we did in secret.”

Bonnie shakes her head with disgust. “Fucking weird shit.”

It makes me laugh and I nod. “You could say that. Then Jonny left. He had a new job, and I used to hear the whispers calling him evil, a devil in disguise and a child who had strayed from the path into darkness.”

“Fuck me.”

Bonnie whistles and Ashton says sadly. “No wonder you were anxious.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

I say sadly, “Jonny told me he would set things up and then come and get me. I really believed he would, and I planned for our future. I couldn’t wait to leave Heaven and experience first-hand what he spoke about. He made it sound so exciting I could put up with life in Heaven while he was gone, knowing I had a way out.”

“What happened next?”

Bonnie’s eyes are wide, and she completely ignores Ashton’s warning stare and I say in a low voice, “I became sick. At least I thought I’d caught something and when I vomited outside the general store one day, the owner, Martha, was on hand. She helped clean me up and I’ll never forget the fear in her eyes when she asked if I may be pregnant. I’d never even considered it and dismissed the weight I put on as something that happened naturally.”

“You weren’t wrong.” Bonnie adds and Ashton says irritably, “Let her finish.”

They lean forward and I say sadly, “She produced a test. God knows I didn’t even realize things like that existed, and it didn’t take long to confirm I was pregnant.”

I shiver involuntarily and whisper, “It was a disaster. I had committed the ultimate sin in Heaven. I was no longer a virgin and had slept with the devil.”

“What the...” Bonnie makes to speak and Ashton places her hand on her arm and says hastily, “You poor thing. It must have been awful.”

I nod. “I was in shock and thank God Martha was the one who discovered my sin, and I will be eternally grateful to her for that.”

“I’m sorry…” Bonnie says in a hard voice and holds up her hand as Ashton makes to speak.

“You do know it wasn’t a sin, don’t you because quite frankly, if you say yes, I’m liable to beat the shit out of you myself?”

It makes me laugh as Ashton says, “Bonnie!” The horror in her voice making me smile.

“It’s fine.” I smile at the two women who couldn’t be nicer. “I know that now, but at the time I never knew differently.”

“So, what happened next?” Ashton says softly and I turn to look at Hope, still sleeping peacefully, unaware of her tough beginning.

“Martha was a saint. She helped me leave town.”

“Wow! I’m loving Martha already.” Bonnie adds, and I nod. “She was amazing. In fact, her husband is a huge fan of Jonny’s and helped us escape a second time. We owe them so much.”

“So, what happened next?”

Bonnie leans forward and I smile, loving how unapologetic she is.

“Only two people knew of my situation. Martha and my best friend Purity.

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