Page 36 of The Consigliere

I sigh heavily and shiver a little. “Children, charity functions, entertain his associates and form friendships with like-minded couples. The American dream. You’ll find that description on the box but when you open it there’s not a lot of worth inside.”

“And you think my life is a bed of roses?”

He shakes his head as I stare at him in surprise.

“You do what you want. You’ve demonstrated that.”

“Is that what you think?”

He laughs and raises his glass to mine.

“My life is no less controlled than yours. As soon as I could walk, I was taught to fight. As soon as I could speak, I was beaten if I spoke out of turn. The only education I had was in fighting, extortion and pain. I watched my mother murdered in cold blood before my eyes and my father was the killer. I was seduced by a woman who played on my need for love and kindness and turned it against me. Everything I have has been hard won and I am always looking over my shoulder for the hit man who follows me everywhere. My life will be short and depraved, so it’s no wonder I get my kicks from torturing people who I consider have it better than me.”

The expression in his eyes should scare me, but it turns me on. What can I say? I’m a hot mess.

The fact he’s so broken intrigues me. A violent beginning has created a violent man, yet somehow, deep down inside, there is something that interests me more. A yearning for something he has never had. Like me, he is searching for that missing piece. He craves the light. I crave the darkness and when light meets dark, you get dusk. We are in that gray area searching for a rainbow. Which side it falls remains to be seen, but both of us want to discover the pot of gold at the end of it and for the first time since I met him, I fully understand the man I married.

“We can help one another.” The words come out in a rush, and he nods.

“I thought that was the plan.”

“No.” I stand and head toward him, dropping to my knees and taking his hands in mine.

“We both have something the other person needs and maybe this is our time to swap desires. You want something you’ve never had and so do I.”

I reach up and cup his face in my hand and stare deep into his eyes.

“Let me love you, Matteo.”

I’m shocked when his expression changes and I note a vulnerability that wasn’t there before and as he leans his face against my hand, I rub my thumb over the stubble on his jaw.

Then I push myself up and fasten my lips to his, kissing him softly, gently, with so much emotion it even shocks me.

This time, our kiss is gentle, probing and delicious. Feelings are released and the moans are for something sweet and forbidden until now.

This time I want to make love to my man, and I wonder if he’ll allow that to happen.

His hand snaps against mine and he deepens the kiss. It becomes a hunger for something we have both been denied to this point.

I shift onto his lap and run my hand around the back of his head, this time holding him in place as I demonstrate how much I want him.

The clock ticking on the wall is in perfect time to my heartbeat and as he unzips my dress, I shrug off his jacket.

As the fabric falls, he runs his hand over my breast and edges the material aside, and I slip my hand inside his shirt and caress his toned abs. We are in no hurry to rush something that has been denied to us both until now and as we break the kiss, he whispers, “Come. I have something else to show you.”

My dress remains on the floor, and I walk with my hand in his, dressed only in my underwear, but I’m not ashamed.

It’s as if the world is empty and we are Adam and Eve. Alone in our version of paradise.

He leads me to a spiral staircase just outside the dining room and as we head up, I fully expect it to lead to his bedroom.

Instead, I blink in astonishment when he pushes a door open, and we step outside onto a roof terrace. The whole of New York lies as a carpet under our feet as we walk on toughened glass and it’s as if we’re walking on the clouds. There is a large hot tub bubbling away and comfortable sun loungers heaped with luxurious white cushions. He flicks a switch and lights set the place on fire as the fire pit bursts into life.

He holds my attention as he removes his shirt, staring into my eyes the entire time. His pants soon follow until he stands in his Calvin Klein’s and, with a heated gaze in his eyes, he drops them too. I swallow hard when I regard my man for the first time, standing in naked splendor before me. His eyes glitter in the darkening light and my mouth dries as I run my tongue around my lips and, reaching behind me, unclasp my bra.

I step out of my panties and love his lustful expression as he reaches for my hand and leads me silently into the tub.

As the hot decadent bubbles surround us, he pulls me close and kisses me so deeply I forget to breathe.

---