Page 50 of Royal Bosshole

“What is it, James?” she asked. “I don’t want to stay here any longer than I need to.”

I could hear the hurt in her voice. I’d handled this whole thing so badly, but I wasn’t used to all these feelings…I didn’t know how to deal with them.

“I was going to send you an apology letter about it all. I’m sorry, Lily. Truly, I am. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel terrible.” Sighing, I rubbed my hands over my face.

I was fucking tired and having her so close to me without being able to touch her was like torture.

“Years ago, I was in the military, a captain. The one thing I was really good at was fighting, and I studied it hard, even before I went into the military. I loved it. I have a blackbelt in many of the major fighting styles, and I’d even gotten into UFC fighting and boxing. I still do it occasionally for exercise.” I started to tremble a bit, remembering how the thing I’d loved most had made me do something dark. “One day, during my time in the military, I’d been walking down a particular street in a country I won’t name, and I saw a young security guard getting beaten up by three thugs.”

I clenched my fists. I’d never really talked about this before, but it felt right now with Lily listening. She was silent, and the sound of her steady breathing helped keep me steady as well.

“I went to help, and I just went wild. I saw how young the guard was and how badly they had injured him. I stepped in to defend him, slamming the first man to the ground before I wrestled the others. When I was done, they were so badly hurt that I was able to pick up the guard and take him to safety. But then, I realized that the first man was dead. I’d hit him too hard. The one who was awake, yelled at me, telling me that I had just made a big mistake, getting involved with the Cracked Skulls Gang. I didn’t have much time before I heard more footsteps, and I had to get the hell out of there with the guard.”

“And did he survive?” Lily asked in a small voice.

“Yes, thankfully. But still, I’ll never forget what it felt like to take a life because of something I’d trained myself to do. Something I loved and treated as a hobby. I know that sounds mad since I was in the military and death was part of everything. But it was different somehow. The whole time I was in the fight, I felt cold, calculating, moving logically through each movement. I worried it meant something was wrong with me. That I didn’t have enough heart to be king and lead a country that had been starved of a king for so long.”

Lily stood slowly, and said, “Thank you for telling me, James.”

I stood as well. “That is why you are wise, Lily. You don’t need this.”

She looked at me for a few seconds, and I didn’t look away. I could tell she was sad. Those beautiful gray eyes were sharp, but at the same time, they didn’t look angry. The words of love screamed inside of me, and I nearly said them aloud, but she spoke first.

“I have to go. I can’t think about this now.” She started to shake her head and back away. “It’s too much, James.”

“I know. I know.” I smiled. “You have to do what makes you happy, Lily.”

She didn’t say anything else before she left, and the house felt empty after she shut the door behind her. I poured myself another drink.

I’d done the right thing. Sleep was impossible, so I waited up all night. I packed up the rest of my things in a dazed, robotic way, and by the next evening, I was off on a plane to Lenovia.

I had no idea what happened during the journey. I felt like a zombie by the time I arrived, and my assistant, Gerald, met me at the private airport, waiting with a car.

“Your Royal Highness,” he said with a smile, but I could tell there was something else in it. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you, Gerald. It is good to see you.”

He put my bags in the car and then opened the door for me. “There is tea inside. The weather is rough today.”

I hadn’t even noticed, but as we drove away, I could see the dark clouds and the rain pattering against the window. Lenovia was chilly that time of year, but I’d forgotten.

“Ah, of course. How is Father?” I asked.

“Your father is not doing very well, I’m afraid,” Gerald spoke calmly as he guided the vehicle away and down the road. “But he is very happy that you are coming home.”

“I’m happy to be home,” I said woodenly, and then we were silent for the rest of the trip.

Only, for the first time in my whole life, Lenovia didn’t feel like home anymore.

CHAPTER21

LILY

Two monthslater

“Hey Lily, when’s the karaoke night?” Stevie called, sticking her head out of the bathroom. “I don’t want to forget.”

“This weekend. I told you to put it down on your calendar!” I called and then shook my head.

---